How to pick-up, attract and seduce women

If you don’t happen to have a wingman or wingwoman to help support and improve your pick-up game, you can instead use a third-party to unwittingly boost your appeal in the target female’s mind. The benefits of roping in a third party to unwittingly heighten and demonstrate your dominance, social value and attractiveness are multi-faceted.

Let’s look at a couple of examples of how to use a third party before analyzing the advantages doing so offers you.

• The Helpful Vendor. A good person to use as a third party is someone you know will be around and available whenever you need to cleverly rope them into your psychological game. One profession that suits this requirement perfectly is the vendor. For example, you’ve introduced yourself to a girl who was sitting alone reading a book in a bar by using your preferred method of opening and have been talking for 20 minutes or so. You suggest getting a drink at bar and she agrees. At the bar, you get back to flirtatiously debating something you were talking about earlier and you decide to ask the barman for his opinion. Calling the barman over, you half jokingly grill him on the topic at hand, with a slight smile on your face. The girl watches on, smiling too, interrupting you to get her side of the story across to the barman. It’s a fun, light-hearted exchange.

• The Bystander. Same situation again, you’ve been chatting to a girl for 20 minutes and things are going well, the conversation is fun and relaxed. She’s displayed strong, open body language and eye contact is strong and flirty. Again, you’ve been teasingly arguing with her over something minor, you’re both using it to play with each other and generally spice up the conversation. There’s a couple sitting behind you and you turn around, wait for them to look up to see what you want, and then you ask them what they think: “Could I ask you for your opinion on something, guys? See, I think Pepsi’s the way forward, but my friend here, Betty (not her name and you know it), thinks Coke’s a million times better. Could I ask you what you think? Maybe you can help convince her…or me!”

Okay, let’s look at the benefits using a third party, as in the examples above, offers you:

1. Asking a complete stranger for their opinion, while in the company of the girl you’ve just met, allows you to give a supreme display of effortless confidence and courage. Your social value is immediately boosted in her mind. Also, the fact that you can clearly introduce yourself to anyone and get talking with them demonstrates that you didn’t just make an exception for her, which stops her ego from being unduly inflated while at the same time reinforces your status as a social creature with high personal worth – both traits being necessary components when creating attraction in the minds of women.

2. When you bring a third party into the mix, a psychological comparison is made in the mind of the female. She sees the stranger (third party) and she sees you – her subliminal conclusion is that she has more of a connection with you than the person that’s just been introduced to her and her immediate reality (through you asking them for their opinion) and –thanks to the law of contrast – you therefore appear more likeable and attractive than the third party. You can further increase this effect by choosing carefully who you use as your wingman or wingwoman. For example, you’re much better off using another hot girl as a third party (say, an 8 out of 10) than you are a guy (who’s also about an 8 in the looks department. Also, by using a female as a third party, you’re able to incorporate deflection theory into the mix.

3. Lastly, when you use a third party as an unwitting wingman or wingwoman, you’re given the opportunity to be indirectly flirty with the girl you’ve just met. A quick example of this was used in the second example, when you called her Betty, which certainly wasn’t her real name. When you make a flirty joke like this while talking to a third party, its power and effectiveness is much higher than if you said it one-on-one to the girl.

The telling of stories and anecdotes is the main way we describe to other people things that have happened to us. This is because we use stories to not only tell another person facts, but also to get across specific ideas to them, concepts like who we are as a person, what we’ve done, our philosophies on life, how we treat our friends, what we love and hate, how we cope under stress, etc. Being able to tell interesting stories that engage the girl’s attention and capture her imagination is a great skill to have and use during part two of the game. But being able to tell stories that are not only interesting and engaging, but also laden with subtle indications of your high value is even better. Here are the main things to focus on when telling stories that demonstrate high social value to the woman you’re talking to.

• First, bear in mind the things that suggest, when casually mentioned, that you—or any man—has high social value. Here’s a starting list: lots of past girlfriends, many female friends, lots of male friends, a really interesting social occupation, examples of how you protect and look out for your friends, exciting/adventurous experiences. These are things that, when inserted into the conversation correctly, effectively change the girl’s perception of you for the better: she thinks you have more value (and therefore attractiveness) than before.

• You must remember not to make your value-added stories sound like bragging, showing-off or lying. To do this, don’t dwell on the facts that you know add value to your story. Don’t make a feature of them, just drop them in as part of the picture you’re painting as you talk. For example, let’s say you used to date a model. Instead of telling your prospect a story that centers around the fact that your girlfriend was a model, tell her something that includes that fact just as a bit of extra information. For example, you wouldn’t say: “My ex-girlfriend was a model. She was really popular and always working, but then again, she was extremely hot. Like, a 10 out of 10.” This just screams over-compensation on your part and, if you said something like this to your prospect, you’d lose value for it in her mind. You could still use your model ex-girlfriend to add value to a story, but you should do it more like this: “Really? I used to travel to work on the train all the time. It’s so hectic during the morning rush our, right? It’s weird how you can see so many faces on a train every morning and even though you catch the same one every day for a year, you recognize practically no one. It’s like they only exist for a day. *Allow your prospect to reply* This weird thing happened once. My girlfriend at the time used to travel all over the country at weird times of the day because she was a model for a fashion house for a few years. Our travelling schedules were never the same, though. Anyway, it was one busy morning, same old thing. I get on the train and it’s packed. There’s people pushing and shoving, you know. I work my way on and start walking down the aisle. Then I see right at the end of the aisle one free seat, which is like the holy grail at this time in the morning. So I practically sprint down to get it and, to my surprise, actually make it. So I sit down and relax. There’s one person sitting on my right, in the other seat. Literally a minute passes before I glance over my shoulder and who is it? My girlfriend! I didn’t even know she was catching a train that day, let alone the same one as me, at the same time. She was sleeping, her head was on her folded jacket. So I had a little fun first, you know, tickled her nose and stuff. She didn’t wake up. Then a kissed her on the cheek and she woke up straight away looking pretty shocked. But it was cool when her facial expression changed from shocked to surprized and happy. She said that the car that was supposed to take her from our city to the next hadn’t shown, so he had to get the train. It was cool—we got to spend a couple of hours having fun, playing travelling games, you know.”

Do you see the difference there? There is a real narrative to that story. It’s packed with details and none of it sounds arrogant or like bragging. The first piece of value-adding information is when you mentioned your girlfriend. Ding! One point. You’ve had girlfriends in the past. Then you mention she was a model. Ding, ding! This boosts your value massively, but only because the way you mention the fact that she was a model is so justified within the context of the story. You tell your prospect she was a model as a way of explaining why your travelling schedules were never the same. Next, you explain the weird coincidence of you meeting your girlfriend on the train. This is a nice little touch, because most people like hearing stories that contain pleasant, unexpected events. Then you describe how you woke her up and what you did after she awoke. You kissed her. Ding! Then you had a great time and played travelling games, like hangman and tic-tac-toe. Ding, ding, ding! There’s huge value demonstrated there, because what girl wouldn’t love to bump into her boyfriend on a boring train journey and have a great time playing silly games with him? Women love this kind of thing.

And that’s the theory behind telling value-added stories: include subtle mentions of things that add to the girl’s impression of your social value by incorporating them into an interesting, engaging story that justifies why you’re including the value-adding facts. You’ll see that by doing that, extremely strong sexual attraction is gradually developed.

This is a really clever game. It’s clever because you can play it with a girl and by doing so flirt with her, tease her, demonstrate that you have high social value and generally quickly increase your chances of dating her.

It’s called ‘Pinch’—here’s how it goes.

You wait until your conversation with the woman has reached a pretty good stage. You both feel comfortable with each other—the silences don’t feel awkward, mostly because there aren’t many/any of them, etc. Wait until she says something witty in response to something you’ve said. Then say, “Hey, you’re quick! I like that…let’s see how quick you really are. This is a game called Pinch. Have you played it before?” She’ll say no. “Okay, here’s how it goes…” You should now pick up something light and thin, like a bar mat or a credit card. It’s good if you can borrow the item off her. “Right. Hold out your fingers like this [hold out your hand so that you’re making sort of a pinching pose with your fingers, with your pointer finger and your thumb level on top and your pinkie finger lowest down]…I’m going to hover this credit card above you fingers and drop it. All you’ve got to do is pinch your fingers and catch it, okay?” The split second she says yes, WHILE YOU’RE STILL LOOKING AT HER FACE, drop the card. It’ll slip right through her fingers. She’ll say, “Hey, I wasn’t ready!” You can tease her here. “What? You said okay! Alright, try again.” This time, you should let her get ready, but instead of dropping it, sort of twitch your fingers a little bit WITHOUT letting go of the card. She’ll pinch her fingers and as soon as she does, you can drop the card on top of her hand—it’s pretty funny. Before she protests, say sorry and laugh. This time, do it fair and square. It’s damn hard to catch it, so she’ll probably fail. You can then say, “Well you’re mentally agile…physically, not so much…” or something equally teasing.

This game is really good because there’s a lot of room for flirting and teasing the girl. You can trick her, you can say she’s slower than your grandma, you can do anything you want. It’s good to let her test you afterwards, because you’ll probably fail too, which makes things feel fair—she’s got one up one you too…”Ha ha!” she’ll say, “You’re not so quick either!” The whole thing is a great way to flirt with a woman without the need for loads of words and descriptiveness.

Here’s a quick real-life story which happened not that long ago. I was in a bar with some of my friends and our group had, over the course of the night, somehow become merged with another group of guys and girls who I’d never met before. Amongst this new group were a couple of girls who were very attractive and seemed really nice (you can see where this is going!).

Anyway, I get talking to one of them. She’s sort of hesitant at first to get into emotional, fun conversation, but I manage to draw her in using a quick psychological ‘test’ which I said is supposed to be quite revealing. She enjoyed that a lot and it seemed to open her up a fair amount. But she still wasn’t totally hooked on me—there was a tiny bit of attraction, but it wasn’t quite there. So, I did something completely random. I said, just after we both laughed at something we both found funny, “You’re great. It’s weird, if you were my usual type we could be like the next Bonnie and Clyde, don’t you think?” This comment, which I thought would totally put her off me, actually seemed to ignite something in her. It was like I’d lit a match and set fire to some passion in her. She said, “Yeah, definitely. So what’s you type?” and she started playing with her hair, totally locking eye contact with me. I couldn’t work out what had happened, but a couple of minutes later I realized: I challenged her. She had thought that I liked her (I did) and that in my mind the deal was sealed. That wasn’t exciting to her—she wanted a challenge. When I said she wasn’t my type, that’s what I have her. After that line, she immediately started qualifying herself to me. I described the kind of woman I like: “Well, a lot of passion…I’m not saying you’ve not got passion though, you know…erm, I like someone with that mischievous look in their eyes, like you don’t know what they’re going to do next. I love that.” Straight away she said, “I’m passionate! I love blah blah blah.” It was so straightforward. I told her what she wasn’t and she told me what she was, and all because she wanted me to be attracted to her. I raised my social value so much that she suddenly couldn’t get enough of me.

So, the next time you think a girl is a little bit into you, but not as much as you’d like, tell her she’s not your type and see what she does. You’ll soon find out what she feels about you. But MAKE SURE you don’t say it in a kind of “You’re not my type because I can tell you aren’t attracted to me!” If you do that then she’ll just respond with “You’re not my type either.” Mix the comment into something positive, like the Bonnie and Clyde thing.

Learn how to attract women by telling them Power Stories.

Click here to listen to how and why Power Stories make picking up women much easier

Today I’m going to talk about older women – specifically, how you can go about seducing them.

First things first, we need to identify why picking-up older women is different from meeting and seducing women who are about the same age as you. There are 3 main reasons:

1. When an older woman is approached by a younger man, she’ll often feel insecure about the fact that there’s such an age gap between her and him and will therefore choose to ignore his advances – even if deep down she wouldn’t mind getting to know him.

2. Older women quite frequently assume that there must be some sinister ulterior motive for a young guy to approach them. Again, this is born out of a slight sense of insecurity. So, to try and avoid being taken advantage of or otherwise being hard done by, they shun the younger guy’s attempts at getting to know them.

3. Many older women have a preconception that young guys just can’t understand and successfully interact with them because they haven’t been around as long as they have. They think that their young age is a sign of immaturity and therefore keep away from them.

If you have a desire to meet and become close to an older woman, or have had your eye on a woman for a while that’s a few years older than you, then you need to sidestep these obstacles. Here’s how. First, you need to remember that all women, no matter what age they are, love to be engaged in interesting, thought and emotion-provoking conversation. So always focus on using your conversational skills to first create a basic level of rapport between the two of you, then a deeper feeling of sexual chemistry. Hopefully you already know how to identify topics of conversation women are particularly passionate about and incorporate them into your chats. Doing so allows the woman, even if she’s older than you, to feel as if there’s an intellectual and emotional bond between the two of you – from this grows an attraction for you, too.

Next, you should remember to use something called deflection theory. This means focusing your attention on your target older woman’s friends, so that a sense of jealousy grows in her mind and from that a feeling that she wants your attention. Just as young women are affected by seeing you flirt with their friends, so are older women. It’s a naturally in-built social mechanism. So take advantage of it.

Here’s something else to bear in mind. Older single women want different things to younger women, but not completely different things. So, you should aim to combine the following: First, pay them the attention you’d pay a young woman and don’t be afraid to be flirtatious and playful. All women, regardless of age, like to be made to feel good. Second, alter certain aspects of your game to match the older woman mindset. For example: When closing, suggest a specific event you can both go to that you feel matches what they’re interested in and their age. So, instead of saying you should go for a drink next Friday, say you’d like her to come to the bookstore with you to browse around. You don’t say this because older women like books and young girls don’t – but because the day-time experience of accompanying you around a non-sexual location provides the right kind of bonding for her more mature mindset. She finds it appealing and alluring.

And that’s a rough overview of how you should adapt your social style to successfully attract women who are older than you.