Black Belt Seduction Blog: How to pick-up, attract and seduce women

If you have read the last blog post, then you’ll remember that ‘crossing the line’ was mentioned in it. In this post, we’re going to take a close look at what crossing the line means. First let’s define what the line is that we’re talking about.

When you talk to a woman who is about the right age ‘for you’ and who is single, there exists a line between you and her. One side of the line represents the normal mode and the other represents a sexually motivated mode. Here is an example of the normal side:

A guy meets a woman for the first time and they have a conversation. They talk about their jobs, TV, their friends, a holiday the girl is going on and which is their favourite cocktail. It’s a fun conversation and it ends when the girls’ friends say they are leaving to go somewhere else. The guy and girl smile at each other and say bye, it was nice to meet you.

Now here is an example of the sexually motivated mode:

A guy meets a woman for the first time and they talk for a while about different stuff. After about 10 minutes, the vibe between them is really sparking. There’s a lot of energy and they’re both having a fun time. The guy teases the girl by saying that the shoes she’s wearing make her look like a pixie. She says if she’s a pixie then he must be a troll. He says maybe, but in reality she’s the only one in the room who looks like a mythical creature. She laughs and punches him on the arm. He laughs and raises his glass. “To pixie footwear!” he says.

The difference between the two modes is clear. One involves flirting and teasing and sexually motivated behaviour and the other doesn’t. Crossing the line means going from normal mode to sexually motivated mode and although it doesn’t sound that difficult on paper, a massive amount of guys have problems with it in real life. It’s no doubt because crossing the line seems like a big risk to them. They’re already in a pretty good place, just because they’re talking to the woman in a normal, decent way, so they think why risk it, why rush things? Really all they’re doing is avoiding crossing the line, which means they’re delaying the progression of their relationship with the woman. But this isn’t a criticism of men. It IS hard to cross the line. It’s scary. It’s the unknown. You don’t know whether the woman will suddenly clam up when she realises ‘what you’re doing’ or thinking. Unfortunately, this a problem she’s going to have to deal with. You can’t carry it on your shoulders.

Here’s how to cross the line:

- First you need to get the conversation flowing smoothly and easily. There needs to be minimal tension. To do this, stay relaxed and let the topics and comments flow naturally. Don’t worry too much about exactly what you’re saying. Just be upbeat and speak clearly. Laugh easily and she will too. You MUST get her laughing before you move to the next step.

- Next, you need to develop some instant rapport by saying something positive that isn’t TOO flirtatious. For example, “Oh! That’s nice. You’ve got some fight in you…I like that.’

- Next, you need to step things up a little more. You’re about to cross the line. Drop one or two teasing comments. ‘Are you telling me lies? I just saw a little twinkle in your eye when you said that!’ You obviously say that playfully, not like a Nazi.

- If she reacts well, then you’re pretty much over the line. You’re in flirting territory. Good. Now you need to continue to build attraction by flirting a little more, but not too much. Tease a little before you flirt. This is flirting: “You’re really fiery…like you’ve got some Italian in you. That’s cool.” This is teasing: “Are you holding back some kind of dark secret. You did a little twitch when you said that…”

That’s a little lesson in crossing the line—something you must do, without fail, if you want to date a woman. Do it as soon as possible.

From all at BBS, have a very Merry Christmas!

Keep attracting, dating and seducing women - and be merry!

Teasing a woman in the right way is an art form. It’s really no surprise that so many men fail miserably at it when they give it a go. In fact, some guys completely avoid flirting with and teasing a girl because they know that if they mess it up, she will immediately regard him as a failure or, at the very least, someone she doesn’t really want to spend much more time around. You’ve no doubt seen this happen in your lifetime. You may even have experienced it yourself. The man starts to flirt with the woman but he misses the target—his jokes and his attempts at teasing her are transparent and poorly executed. The woman straight away recognizes his heavy-handed attempts at flirting with her and because they’re crude and poorly calibrated, she gives him the ‘That’s nice” smile. She goes along with it. He says, “I bet you say that to all the boys, right?! Am I right?” And she nods and smiles, “Only the naughty ones!” Blah, blah. She knows what’s what.

So, yeah, some guys avoid teasing women just as a way of avoiding the above scenario. Whether you avoid teasing, are bad at it, or just need to sharpen up your ability to effectively tease a woman, it’s worth us going over a few pointers. In fact, let’s look at some great ways to tease a girl in exactly the right way.

#1: The Twinkle Tactic

To use this tease tactic all you need to do is insert it into your conversation with the woman. It doesn’t matter that much WHEN you insert it—you should just focus on saying what you say convincingly, with a slight air of busting her metaphorical balls. For example:
HER: “I go out probably three times a month, usually to clubs.”
YOU: “Really? So you’re a party girl, huh? I bet you get pretty crazy and have a wild time sometimes.”

HER (laughing): “No, no. I have a good time with my friends, but nothing too crazy.”

Now you insert the Twinkle Tactic.

YOU: “Hmm, I’m not sure I believe you. When you said that I saw a twinkle in your eyes. I swear. Do you wear contact lenses?”

HER (curious and smiling): “No, why?”

YOU: “Because there was a twinkle there. You’re a crazy party chick, I think.”

HER (laughing and smiling): “No way. I’m a good girl.”

Of course.

That’s the twinkle tactic. You doubt something she says and you say “I saw a twinkle in your eyes just then like you know something I don’t…or that you don’t want me to” or something along those lines. It’s pure teasing gold.

#2: The Twitch

This is another tease tactic that can be easily inserted into your conversation with a woman. For example:

YOU: “…it was great. You should have seen him, he was drenched in it. The only part of him that wasn’t coated white was his red face. Embarrassing as hell, but he loves telling people that story. For some reason he isn’t embarrassed NOW.”

HER: “Ha ha, that’s crazy. I would have hated that…so embarrassing. Thankfully I’ve never had that kind of bad luck really, not in front of so many people, anyway.”

YOU look at her with a sort of sideways, dubious look: “Are you sure? You just did a sort of facial twitch.

HER: “What? No way!”

YOU: “No, no. Not like that. It was really small, like you’re repressing a deep, dark secret or something.”

HER (giggling and smiling): “No, not at all! I didn’t twitch!”

YOU (busting her lady-balls):  “Yeah, you did. I was right here watching you. It was when you said not in front of SO MANY people. Did you have a private embarrassment? Or perhaps an embarrassment involving your priva….actually, let’s not go there. New subject!”

HER: “Hey, no! A new subject, sure, but I didn’t have any kind of embarrassment that I need to hide. You’re just being mean!”

As you’ve seen, both of these tactics can easily be inserted into your conversations, pretty much at any point. All you need to do is misinterpret something she says or wait for a point at which she could conceivably be hiding something or be embarrassed about something (although she clearly isn’t).

Try them—they’re good.

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Good openers can be hard to come by. That’s because when you use an opener you  read in a book or on the internet, you’re essentially using canned, pre-written material, which can make delivering the opener in a natural, spontaneous way difficult. You never want your opener to come across as some kind of covert pick-up line.  That’s not to say that you can have a massive amount of success with pre-written openers. You just need to always try your hardest to deliver them as well as possible, that’s all.

You could say that this opener, called ‘Are You Thinking What I’m Thinking?’ is the best of both worlds. It’s pre-written, to an extent, but it’s also largely about creating your own opening words based on the situation you and the woman you’re approaching are in. Here’s how it goes.

Approach the woman and position yourself next to her. Don’t face her head on. Make sure you’re side to side. Don’t hang around or you’ll freak her out. Now say to her,  “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” The response you’ll get will almost certainly be one of the following:

- I don’t know, what are you thinking?

- What are you thinking?

- I don’t know.

In that order.

Now you have a choice. You can either go into a pre-written follow-up statement and question, or you can freestyle. That’s the beauty of this opener, it allows you to change what you say next based on how the woman has responded to the first question. If she sort of smiles and asks what you’re thinking in a friendly way, you can go out on a bit of a limb and say one of the following:

- I was thinking that these days not enough guys summon up the strength and will to walk up to a woman and start a conversation with her.

- I was thinking that random conversations with people you’ve never met before can either go quite well or really badly, but never great. What do you think? [Her: No, I think they can go great if the people get along. You: Cool. Okay…so….You both laugh.]

- I was thinking that although it would be a risk talking to a complete stranger, it could also be pretty fun and enjoyable, right?

If you don’t feel ballsy enough to go with one of the above, you can follow the question up with something more situational. For example, let’s say you’re both at a stand-up comedy event and the comedian who’s currently on stage is bombing and being booed. You might say:

- I was thinking that the comedian on right now almost certainly has the sweatiest back in this whole place…the way his set is going. What do you think of him?

- I was thinking that I’m glad I’m not that guy [pointing to the comedian] right now.

Get the idea? The first question (‘Are you thinking what I’m thinking?’) gives you access. It starts the conversation. But it’s not enough to spark it—you need something more. So, she responds by asking what you’re thinking, THEN you say something longer and more content-full. You make a little joke or you say something relevant to your surroundings.

One of the best things about this opener is that if the woman agrees with what you tell her you were/are thinking, then you’re immediately bonded in a way. Of course, you make sure it’s easy for her to agree with you by saying something that she couldn’t really disagree with, like pointing out the bad comedian. If you can, though, try to use the ‘I was thinking that although it would be a risk talking to a complete stranger, it could also be pretty fun and enjoyable, right?’ line. It’s great because if she says no, then she’s being rude. Very rude. She has to say yes, because what you’ve said is an optimistic, positive thing to say. And when she DOES say yes, she’s pretty much given the conversation clearance to go well. She’s agreed that talking to you can or will be fun. It’s a really good line if you can use it—so try your best to follow up the first question with it.

Something you always want to avoid when talking to a woman (if you’d like to sexually attract her) is getting into a simple back-and-forth mode of speaking to each other. Here’s what that means.

First, you say something.

YOU: “I suppose the best thing about my job is that I get to meet a lot of new people, which keeps it interesting.”

Then there’s a slight pause and she says something in response.

HER: “I pretty much work with the same people every day, but I get along with them pretty well.”

Then you say something.

YOU: “That’s cool. How long have you worked there?

And she answers. Blah, Blah. You get the idea.

That is what is meant by a simple back-and-forth. You and the girl switch back and forth between the speaker and listener roles. You state something and she states something in response, then when the topic is starting to get a little too tricky or overdone, one of you asks the other something to start a new topic.
Getting into this kind of back-and-forth is a good start when talking to a woman, but that’s all it should be: a start. As quickly as possible, you’ve got to break the pattern or you and her switching between the speaker and listener roles. You have to mix it up and make it exciting and free-flowing. It needs to be unpredictable and spontaneous. As soon as you feel like the conversation has reached a back-and-forth stage, you should tell the woman a short, interesting story that is relevant to what you’re talking about. Only men who are scared of losing the woman’s attention stick to saying a couple of sentences before handing the speaker role back to the woman. You need to buck this trend by telling a story. So, you’ve just been talking about the people you work with. She’s said she gets along with the people at her workplace—this is your chance to tell her a short, funny story. This story will be the first thing to break the back-and-forth.

YOU: “This guy I work with absolutely hates meeting new people. In fact, I think he hates all people. He does everything he can to avoid interacting with ANYONE. Like, he piles all of his files up on his desk to block out the desks on the other side. There must be 15 files. We call it the Leaning Tower of Pete’s Desk. Although his name is Paul. He’s been told about a hundred times by the boss to take it down, but he refuses. He says it’s his filing system. He knows where everything is, he says. Can you believe that?”

That’s a nice little story and it only takes 35 seconds to tell it. It’s perfect, because it relates to the topic you and the woman are on and it’s adding new, interesting information to the conversation. Also, parts of the story also make her laugh and smile, which is very important.

Once you’ve told that story, you’ve allowed new assets to enter into your conversation, a new tool: story-telling. Before, you and the woman were swapping short bits of information about yourselves. Now it’s been established that it’s okay to tell stories about yourself and your life. Once the woman recognizes this fact, which she immediately will, she’ll feel happy and enthusiastic about telling you her own stories and anecdotes. A great way to finish one of your stories if you think the woman isn’t likely to immediately respond with a fairly good story of her own is to ask her a question like, “Do you work with anyone who’s a little strange?” Because you’ve just invested time and effort into telling her about someone you work with, she’ll really feel like she’ll want to tell you one of her own stories or anecdotes. It’s amazing and it works every time. Tell a good story and then prompt the woman and she will respond in FULL with enthusiasm. The better your story is—the funnier and the more fun to listen to it is—the better her response will be.

As well as breaking the back-and-forth by telling each other stories, you should also aim to:

Play a game at some point. It doesn’t matter what the game you play is, as long as it’s some kind of game. For example, eye-spy, Would You Rather…, Rock, Paper, Scissors, etc. They might sound childish, but that’s the whole point…if you can act like children together, you can do anything…