Black Belt Seduction Blog: How to pick-up, attract and seduce women

Learn some dating tips for the guy who hates dating

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There are a few different kinds of openers. A couple of the most common, and best, are the opinion opener and the situational opener. Both have their pros and cons. Some guys prefer opinion openers and some swear by their situational openers. Maybe you have your own preference, or maybe you don’t know much about them. Either way, today we’re going to talk about something called the Random Situational Opener. First, though, we need to look at a couple of examples of normal opinion openers and situational openers.

Opinion Opener #1: “Hey guys. Quick question. Me and my friends are having a discussion. What do you think…do guys lie more than girls or the other way round?”

Opinion Opener #2: “Hey. Quick question. My friend swears she’s right about this. Do you think it’s cheating if a girl with a boyfriend kisses another guy in a club? You do? What about if she kisses a girl? Yeah? What if it’s her best friend? No? How come?’

Notice how those opinion openers, along with all openers that aren’t situational ones, are completely random. The girl who’s being asked a question has nothing connecting her and the question or the guy who’s asking it. It’s come out of nowhere. From the guy’s point of view, it could therefore have been about anything. If it’s going to be random, anything is allowed. He could ask about girls kissing girls, penguins being better than dolphins, toast versus sandwiches…anything. The pros of opinion openers are:

- As just stated, they can be about anything, which allows for plenty of fun and uniqueness.

- They are easy to think of because there are no limits.

- They are unique.

The cons of random opinion openers are:

- Because they’re random, they can seem too out of the blue and unexpected. Girls might ask if you’re doing a survey or just why you’re quizzing them.

- Because they’re random, some people can feel like you’re playing with them a little. The question is so random that you could have asked anybody, which doesn’t make them feel very special. You could just be goofing around by asking them for all they know.

Here are a couple of situational openers, with the pros and cons described afterwards.

Situational opener #1: “Hi. Do you know if the DJ here changes every week or is it the same guy all the time?”

Situational opener #2: “Hey, do you like the décor of this place? My friends think it’s a little bit 70s, but I disagree.”

As you might expect, these situational openers (as with all situational openers) reference something about the surroundings the man and the woman are in at that time.

The pros of situational openers are:

- They relate to something real, which makes them feel more genuine

- They woman isn’t as likely to think that you’re goofing her around or being too random

- They’re usually very easy to reply to

The cons are:

- They can be boring, because sometimes the situation/surroundings don’t offer much in the way of interesting subject matter. And this is a pretty major con when you think about it. Your opener needs to be as engaging as possible.

Of course, the disadvantages of opinion openers and situational openers can be cancelled out if they are delivered expertly, but why take the risk? Why not combine the good aspects of both types of opener and thereby get rid of the cons of each? You can do that by creating a Random Situational Opener. A RSO has two components. They are: a comment about the situation or surroundings you’re in, and a random question that relates to that comment.

Random situational opener #1: “Hey. Can I ask you question? My friend has just been telling me about how she thinks this place looks really minimalist, but I disagree. And she says that the worst way you can decorate your home is to have really open spaces and neutral colors. Blacks and whites and stuff. But I disagree. What do you think?” Deliver this with brevity and speed in mind, but clearly. Otherwise, trim it down to: “This place is decorated in a really minimalist way. Do you like that kind of decoration?”

Random Situational Opener #2: “Hey. Me and my friend were just talking to the barman about who lies more, men or women, he swears it’s women, but I wanted to ask a woman before we jump to conclusions.”
As you can see, something about the environment or situation is referenced, then a general question is asked. It’s a much, much more powerful and effective way of opening than simply using an opinion opener OR a situational opener. Try it out and get creative.

Learn how to attract beautiful women by asking them thought-provoking questions.

Click here to learn how to attract beautiful women by asking them thought-provoking questions.

One of the problems with this relatively new hobby or science or whatever you want to call it (I’m talking about the ‘pick up arts’) is that a community of warped minds seems to have developed. Male warped minds. Unfortunately, to describe and teach the principles of attracting women, people need to use certain terms, like:

- Targets
- Pick up artist
- 10s (or 8s, or 7s or whatever, to rank a woman’s attractiveness)
- Seduction

And a string of other similar terms. What seems to have happened is that a large proportion of the guys who are interested in this subject (perhaps even the majority) have come to think of themselves as members of a special club. A club of pick up artists—men who’s sport is finding women and systematically triggering attraction switches in their minds. And because they see themselves in this way, they have developed a warped sense of what it means to be a single man trying to meet a single woman. Take the Bros Before Hoes philosophy, for example. No, please…TAKE IT, because it’s superfluous. It’s a by-product of guys getting the wrong end of the stick when it comes to navigating their way through the dating scene. It goes like this: As a pick up artist, or just as a man, you should always value your male friends above any woman, no matter who she is. On the face of it, that doctrine might not seem that corrosive, but when you really think about it, it quickly becomes apparent how strange an idea it is. The only reason a man would need to believe and follow this rule is if the dating scene is like this:

That is Men vs Women. And it’s bullshit. Men who have that kind of mentality are usually insecure. They’re scared of rejection and would rather keep women at a distance and see them as completely different to men. Some guys will argue until they’re blue in the face that women stick together like a pride of tigresses and men should to, in a pack of lions. But we’re not on the Savannah any more. This is how you need to see the dating scene.

It’s a mix of PEOPLE, some male and some female. This might sound like a lesson in equal rights, but it’s really not. It’s a lesson in attraction and seduction. Because if you see the game as guys versus girls, you’re never going to possess and be able to display the kind of high social value you need to be seen as truly sexually attractive by the opposite sex. If you follow the bros before hoes philosophy, then you will always be distant from women. You need to forget about the differences between men and women. There are MANY, but there are none that mean you should adopt a strategy that involves maintaining any kind of separation between you and women. Be loyal to your friends, by all means, but do not let your perspective of men and women become distorted.

I know, I know, this sounds like I’m preaching. But I don’t care. This is an important lesson. If you want to be the guy who walks through a bar or club without a single worry in the world, with absolute self-assuredness and self-confidence, with the power to talk to ANY woman and have her genuinely believing that he is the greatest man in the entire place, then you need to forget bros before hoes and start following this mantra:

YOU FIRST…and who wants to tag along?