Black Belt Seduction Blog: How to pick-up, attract and seduce women

If you are shy around women, you’re not alone. Majority of men experience shyness to some degree when they see an attractive woman. Usually, the more attractive the woman is, or the more women there are, the more intensely this shyness tends to be.

Sometimes, we experience shyness to a point where it interferes with our ability to meet and talk to women. This is where it really becomes a problem and a source of frustration. It turns into a vicious cycle wherein every event in which we forgo approaching a woman because of our shyness just makes it harder for us to overcome and eliminate excessive shyness. In the short term, this results in loneliness and contributes to a low self-belief. In the long term, it affects other facets of our life and results to a lower quality of life overall.

Making the decision to overcome shyness is probably one of the easiest to make. After all, what man would not want to be confident around women? However, actually overcoming shyness needs a lot of practice and a lot of courage. If you’ve made a personal decision to stop shyness now, I salute you. To help you along, here are 5 guaranteed ways to help you eliminate excessive shyness.

1.     Put yourself in women’s shoes. It’s no secret that women want to attract men. A majority of women still believe that it’s the men who should be doing the approaching and not the other way around. If you approach women, don’t think that you’re an unwanted distraction. Done properly, women welcome being approached by men.
2.     You can meet women and still be honest. In fact, we discourage lying to women. When you are meeting women and starting a conversation with them, you have to put your best foot forward. This means phrasing words positively to make you look attractive and to show off your best qualities. This is not the same as deceiving them or lying to them. You’re merely presenting yourself in a good way by highlighting the best things about you.
3.     Reflect on your goal for wanting to meet women. Are you out to score a date or a phone number? Is that goal putting a lot of pressure on you and in turn, fueling your shyness around women? Let me reveal to you a secret that all men who are comfortable around women know. And that is, when you go out to meet women, your goal isn’t to score anything. Your goal is to have fun and enjoy their company.
4.     Change your look. Sometimes the root of our shyness lies in our lack of confidence in our appearance and how attractive we appear to women. The easy fix here is to look your best. Invest in a new haircut. Grab a great outfit that flatters your build and shows off your personality.  If you are conscious about something, for example, wearing eye glasses, you might want to think about wearing contact lenses. If you think you look attractive to women, it will definitely make you more comfortable and confident interacting with them.
5.     Start with non-threatening women. The only way you can overcome shyness when talking to women is to actually start talking to women. Accumulating a lot of positive interactions with women will diminish the intensity of your shyness until you completely eliminate it. You can start off by talking to non-threatening women first. Next, you can alternate talking to non-threatening women and really attractive girls. Until finally, you can talk to any girl you want.

You’ve seen it in the movies. The guys on the Harley always have sexy women in leather minis riding tandem. And I bet you’ve seen it happen in real life as well. You see hot chicks dating these two-timing, womanizing losers and wonder “What do these women see in these men?”

Well, if you want to be the guy that hot women date, you’ve got to learn a trick or two from the bad boys. To understand what women find so sexually appealing about them, here are a couple of things you need to know about how women generally view the game of seduction.

• Women like to be challenged. They don’t want to be placed in a pedestal and treated like china. They want someone who can relate to them as equals. The want men who are sexually secure and who are not afraid to tap the sexual side of women’s personalities.

• Women crave excitement in their lives. Bad boys are men who live dangerously, take risks and are generally viewed as adventurous sexual partners. That they are reputed to have a lot of affairs is not viewed as a negative. On the contrary, what it tells women is that other women have chosen him, thereby confirming his desirability as a sexual partner.

• Women relish spontaneity. Nice guys tend to be cautious and conservative. They follow the rules because they care a lot about what other people expect of them - what society expects of them. They are afraid to look silly or foolish and so they are afraid to become spontaneous. That’s the stereotype nice guys need to overcome.

• Women like to take on the feminine role in a relationship. And for the dynamics of the relationship to work, the man has to exhibit more masculine qualities. Qualities usually associated with being masculine include being assertive and domineering. So if you act too nicely around a girl - paying her lots of attention, showering her with gifts, not daring to “make any mistake” - you are in a way taking on the role of the female in the relationship.

• Women are addicted to confidence. This is a trait that seems to flourish abundantly in the so-called “bad” boys. Bad boys are cool. Their “I-don’t-care” attitude and body language challenges women to live up to their expectations if she wants their attention. They don’t need validation from other people to confirm their superior status.

• Men that other women find sexually attractive are irresistible. If males strive to be the alpha male or the so called “leader of the tribe” - the man with the best genes - then women also strive to be the alpha female, the woman other women look up to and envy. One way to achieve this is to be seen in the company of the alpha male, who’s behavior are usually modeled by the bad boys.

The thing about these reasons is they are related biologically to how men and women are programmed to be. What we desire in sexual partners is not always rationally determined. It’s instinctual. But as complex beings, we do not rely on instincts alone. Personally, I think it wouldn’t hurt to learn a thing or two from the bad boys and adapt our seduction styles accordingly.

When we see an attractive woman, we want her to like us back. Our natural tendency is to go out of our way to make a great impression, going to great lengths to make sure she likes us back.

But did you know that the best way to attract women is really to treat them no differently from how we treat other people? By making ourselves and our attention scarce, we force women to work for our attention.

If you want to make attractive women work for your attention, here are some moves you can pull when you approach her:

1. Once you make her acquaintance, still continue to interact with other people.

Don’t make the mistake of giving her all of your attention. Continue interacting with other people - both men and women. This is another way of treating her no differently from everybody else. This will even make you more attractive in her eyes.

When she sees you having fun with other people, it will put the pressure on her to come up with something interesting to offer you because she thinks that she’s competing with everybody else for your attention. To her, you’ll seem like someone who is well-liked and well-regarded, someone confident and quite at ease mingling with other people.

2. Don’t agree with everything she says.

When meeting someone for the first time, especially if that someone is a pretty woman, we don’t want to appear disagreeable. What happens is we agree to every statement she utters, even if we really don’t.

But this doesn’t do us any good for 3 reasons: First, it shows the woman that we have no mind of our own. We have no opinion whatsoever, and so we agree to whatever she says. Second, it becomes obvious that we’re trying to win her favor. We want her to accept us, to think well of us, that’s why we dare not challenge her. Third, it tells the woman that we don’t have enough self-confidence to give an opinion because we don’t want to give a “wrong” opinion and reap rejection.

By disagreeing with her, you refute all of these, which I’m sure you will agree are not very attractive qualities at all for a man. You must remember who you are in this relationship - you are the dominant male. A word of caution though - don’t overdo it. You’re not trying to be rude here. You’re just being honest. Maintain a friendly attitude even while you disagree.

3. Don’t appear too interested in what she has to say

When we’re interested in what someone is saying, we tend to lean our bodies toward the speaker, we establish eye contact, and we nod a lot.

This is not what you want to be doing. Instead, you should not be afraid to break eye contact, to be a bit more laid back and relaxed. By doing this, you’re telling her that you do not care that much about how she thinks of you. This kind of confidence is something women find very attractive in a man.

Again, remember not to overdo. Don’t purposefully ignore her when she’s talking. You’re still paying close attention to what she’s saying, you’re just not letting it show too much.

This kind of “aloof” behavior of treating attractive women like everybody else is a characteristic behavior of an alpha male. Women find alpha males sexually attractive because they are perceived as leaders that other men look up to and women vie for. Thus, they tend to exhibit dominant behavior - not because they want to lord it over everybody else, but simply because they know no other way to be than high status.

What If I tell you there are 5 easy changes you can start making today that’s guaranteed to double your dating frequency with gorgeous women? That’s right.

We all know that to double our frequency, there may be some things about our personality or our behavior that we have to modify. Some of these changes are long term - such as developing confident body language. But there are also small changes that you can start doing today that’s guaranteed to give you great results.

Here are my 5 favorite tips - easy tips - that you can start doing today and see immediate results:

1. Recruit a wingman into your team.

A wingman is a friend who is also your sidekick in attracting women. Bringing in a wingman can help you tremendously in your interactions with attractive women. When you go in and approach a girl, especially if she’s with her friends, you gain an important ally in keeping the conversation or interaction lively and fun. You also have someone who’ll make you look good in front of the girl you’re after, bringing up your social value in effect.

2. Ask for opinions in your openers.

If you haven’t been doing this, you’ve been missing out on a lot of fun interaction with women. Openers are your basic lines when you approach a group of women for the first time, popularly called pick up lines.

A great way to open is with opinion questions. Questions like “What can men do that women cannot?” or “Men are in fact better cooks than women. That’s why most chefs are men. Do you agree?” The topic has to be somewhat controversial yet light and interesting. Remember, you want a fun conversation that will get everybody in a great mood, and not a debate.

The great thing about these openers is that they’re random enough that you can use it with any group of girls and at the same time, they’re easy to tweak to suit your situation.

3. Test your perfume before using it on the field.

No matter how good you look or how engaging you are, if you smell bad, you’re done for. No one’s going to notice anything else. So first off, if you’re not using perfume, start using one today. Next, It’s not enough to wear just any perfume - you need to test it first. Perfume is oil-based and once it’s sprayed on your skin, it reacts and changes based on the chemicals it finds there, like our sweat. So what smells good in the bottle might become foul once it sets in on our skin. So it’s best to always test - test before you purchase, and definitely test before you use.

4. Use Reverse Psychology.

We’re used to thinking that if we want to impress somebody, we have to behave pleasantly around them. There’s nothing wrong with that statement. It’s just that when trying to impress a cute girl you’ve just met, nothing can be more detrimental to your success than modeling pleasant behavior. If you haven’t notice, women always fall for the bad guys - the men with attitude. This is because women liked being challenged. They like taking on the feminine role in a relationship - which means you need to take on the dominant, masculine role. By all means, be nice and friendly, but don’t be afraid to disagree and to air contrary opinions either.

5. Relax and enjoy the ride!

Don’t be too uptight. Seduction is supposed to be a game and games are meant to be fun. It you view it too seriously, the tension will show in your movements, making you appear less confident around women. Whereas if you have fun at it, women will be drawn to you because women, like everybody else, enjoy being around fun people.

For a lot of men, meeting and dating women doesn’t come easy. And it’s no surprise given the amount of obstacles a man needs to overcome in order to be comfortable around attractive women. We have to dodge rejection at every turn, figure out what we’re expected to say or do, and generally put ourselves out to be brutally judged (and risk embarrassing ourselves) by strangers who happen to be attractive women.

And yet, being able to attract women is a necessity for any man to be able to live his life to the fullest.

How to seduce women is not something we’re born with, nor is it something we’re taught - or at least not till now. Seduction training is a systematic and structured program designed to teach men the art of seducing women. Just like martial arts training, this type of training doesn’t just deal with the how of seducing women; perhaps more importantly it deals with the why of it. You’re trained mentally and physically to have the right frame of mind as well as the right moves to be able to seduce any woman you fancy.

Undergoing seduction training offers a lot of benefits for men. Here are some of them:

1.       You learn what you need to, FASTER. Seduction training drastically shortens the time it needs for you to learn what you need to know about seducing women. Why go through the painful process of trial and error when you can learn much faster and so much more comprehensively through seduction training?

2.       You understand women better. It teaches men like you how to relate to women better. That’s your competitive edge above other men. Because you underwent seduction training, you’ll know exactly what women are thinking and you know exactly how you’re going to act around them. No more second guessing. No more rejection.

3.       It’s comprehensive. Seduction training can direct you on the best way to approach and talk to women regardless of the environment. Whether day time or night time, in a supermarket or a night club, find out how to assess the situation, size up the women, and know exactly what’s appropriate to say and do to successfully attract women you like.

4.       It builds confidence. It can massively improve your confidence. Instead of fear, feel excitement whenever you’re around gorgeous women. Instead of the one being judged, be the one doing the judging and the choosing.

5.       It lets men like you be their best selves. No need to avoid social situations. Freely interact with both men and women. Reveal who you really are and be admired for it. Seduction training can guide you on how best to present yourself to magnify the masculine qualities that all women find sexually attractive.

6.       It gives you a more positive outlook on life. The transformation from being viewed as a dork to being admired as a every girl’s prince charming is truly life changing. Suddenly, the possibilities that are open to you seem limitless. As a result, they lead happier and more fulfilling lives.

This is something we’re all guilty of. We find a gorgeous woman and to attract her, we try our hardest to impress her. We go to great lengths to make her like us. We laugh at her jokes. We buy her drinks. We give her our complete attention and hang on to every word she says. In short, we try very hard - in fact, too hard - to make a great impression on her.

We all know what women like in men, right? Women want men who are strong, confident, well-respected, sociable, and who listens to them. But could it be possible that in our goal to be the kind of man that women want, we end up trying too hard and turning them off?

This is the idea of outcome dependence. The more we try to appear to be confident, sensitive sexually attractive males, the more we end up looking like losers. The stronger we want to appear, by trying too hard, we end up looking weaker. This commonly happens when we want to impress an attractive woman.  We get rejected because we appeared too needy and too dependent on her approval, which isn’t very sexy at all.

So how do we defeat outcome dependence? We need to play it cool. Here are some ways how:

• Establish you dominance. When you’re meeting a woman for the first time, there is something very crucial that you need to establish and that is your dominance - over her and over everybody else. You don’t reveal how much you like her. Instead you treat her just like you treat everybody else because she IS just like every body else.

• Don’t give her all of your attention. Make sure you spread yourself around and interact with other people - both men and women. This will reinforce the idea that you are an alpha male, a dominant male, that a lot of people like and look up to. This will also signal to her that if she wants more of your time, she’s got to make some effort to win your attention

• Keep your approach casual and friendly. When you approach or talk to an attractive woman, don’t make it obvious that you’re trying to attract her. Cloak your true intentions. Be friendly and pleasant to her, as you are to everybody else. The pressure will be on her to impress you and not the other way around.

• Don’t feel the need to always agree with whatever she says. If she says something you don’t agree with, don’t be afraid to say so or to question her opinions. And if you agree with what she’s saying, that’s the time you can talk to her enthusiastically about it.

• Watch your body language. This one can be tricky since body language pertains to movements that we are unconsciously making. Be aware of common outcome dependent body language like leaning in too much which shows that you’re too attentive to what she’s saying or fidgeting which shows that you are nervous about being found out or being rejected.

Next time you see a woman you want to approach, keep these tips in mind.