Two different kinds of men spoil their chances of dating women by displaying ‘picking up women’ behavior. The first kind is the guy who knows nothing about the true subject of attraction and seduction (he doesn’t know about opening and closing, etc.) and the second kind is the educated, but overenthusiastic, attraction and seduction student. In other words, it doesn’t really matter how much you know about scientifically attracting and seducing women, you can still mess up your chances of dating them by giving off the wrong ‘vibes’ when you talk to them.
Here are some of the things you need to avoid, because if you do them, you’ll be displaying pick up behavior that is too strong—it will turn women off you, not on by you.
• Rushing in with the flirty banter
Most women don’t respond well to flirty banter when it is thrown at them within the first 10 seconds of talking to a guy. It screams “I want to attract you as soon as possible!”
• Rushing in with teasing comments
Teasing is different to flirting. For example, “You’re just a little minx, aren’t you?” is an example of flirting, but there’s no teasing in there. But “Those shoes are interesting…retro style!” is definitely teasing and she’ll know it. If you tease her too much too soon, she’ll feel too overwhelmed to get involved by teasing you back.
• There’s really no good reason for you talking to her
If you go up to an attractive woman and say “Hey! How’s it going?” she’s going to know you’re only talking to her because she’s hot. Why didn’t you ask that little fat woman behind you? You therefore need to have at least a half decent reason to talk to HER. In other words, make your opener as interesting, unique and funny as possible and deliver it directly, confidently and GUIDE the group into answering you or replying. They’ll still know there’s a reason you chose them over any other group, but at least what you’re saying and the way you’re saying it appeals to them.
• Giving the girls suggestive facial expressions
Socially crude guys do this a lot. They enter a group and then go about looking at the girl(s) in very suggestive way. They’re telling them with their facial expressions that they’re very attracted to them. They do the undressing-them-with-their-eyes thing, they maintain eye contact for way longer than normal, they keep staring at the girl’s mouth, etc. If you do this from the moment you enter a group, expect to get labelled as a guy who wants only one thing: to get with one of the girls. And unless they already think you have what they want from a partner, you might as well forget the possibility of closing them. (getting their number or whatever).
Always think of the interaction from a woman’s point of view. If you were her, what would you think of YOU? Would you know it was a pick-up attempt? If the answer is yes, then you need to adapt your approach. Become more genuine, choose better openers, control your flirting, etc.