Here’s a quick real-life story which happened not that long ago. I was in a bar with some of my friends and our group had, over the course of the night, somehow become merged with another group of guys and girls who I’d never met before. Amongst this new group were a couple of girls who were very attractive and seemed really nice (you can see where this is going!).
Anyway, I get talking to one of them. She’s sort of hesitant at first to get into emotional, fun conversation, but I manage to draw her in using a quick psychological ‘test’ which I said is supposed to be quite revealing. She enjoyed that a lot and it seemed to open her up a fair amount. But she still wasn’t totally hooked on me—there was a tiny bit of attraction, but it wasn’t quite there. So, I did something completely random. I said, just after we both laughed at something we both found funny, “You’re great. It’s weird, if you were my usual type we could be like the next Bonnie and Clyde, don’t you think?” This comment, which I thought would totally put her off me, actually seemed to ignite something in her. It was like I’d lit a match and set fire to some passion in her. She said, “Yeah, definitely. So what’s you type?” and she started playing with her hair, totally locking eye contact with me. I couldn’t work out what had happened, but a couple of minutes later I realized: I challenged her. She had thought that I liked her (I did) and that in my mind the deal was sealed. That wasn’t exciting to her—she wanted a challenge. When I said she wasn’t my type, that’s what I have her. After that line, she immediately started qualifying herself to me. I described the kind of woman I like: “Well, a lot of passion…I’m not saying you’ve not got passion though, you know…erm, I like someone with that mischievous look in their eyes, like you don’t know what they’re going to do next. I love that.” Straight away she said, “I’m passionate! I love blah blah blah.” It was so straightforward. I told her what she wasn’t and she told me what she was, and all because she wanted me to be attracted to her. I raised my social value so much that she suddenly couldn’t get enough of me.
So, the next time you think a girl is a little bit into you, but not as much as you’d like, tell her she’s not your type and see what she does. You’ll soon find out what she feels about you. But MAKE SURE you don’t say it in a kind of “You’re not my type because I can tell you aren’t attracted to me!” If you do that then she’ll just respond with “You’re not my type either.” Mix the comment into something positive, like the Bonnie and Clyde thing.