One of the problems with this relatively new hobby or science or whatever you want to call it (I’m talking about the ‘pick up arts’) is that a community of warped minds seems to have developed. Male warped minds. Unfortunately, to describe and teach the principles of attracting women, people need to use certain terms, like:
- Targets
- Pick up artist
- 10s (or 8s, or 7s or whatever, to rank a woman’s attractiveness)
- Seduction
And a string of other similar terms. What seems to have happened is that a large proportion of the guys who are interested in this subject (perhaps even the majority) have come to think of themselves as members of a special club. A club of pick up artists—men who’s sport is finding women and systematically triggering attraction switches in their minds. And because they see themselves in this way, they have developed a warped sense of what it means to be a single man trying to meet a single woman. Take the Bros Before Hoes philosophy, for example. No, please…TAKE IT, because it’s superfluous. It’s a by-product of guys getting the wrong end of the stick when it comes to navigating their way through the dating scene. It goes like this: As a pick up artist, or just as a man, you should always value your male friends above any woman, no matter who she is. On the face of it, that doctrine might not seem that corrosive, but when you really think about it, it quickly becomes apparent how strange an idea it is. The only reason a man would need to believe and follow this rule is if the dating scene is like this:
That is Men vs Women. And it’s bullshit. Men who have that kind of mentality are usually insecure. They’re scared of rejection and would rather keep women at a distance and see them as completely different to men. Some guys will argue until they’re blue in the face that women stick together like a pride of tigresses and men should to, in a pack of lions. But we’re not on the Savannah any more. This is how you need to see the dating scene.
It’s a mix of PEOPLE, some male and some female. This might sound like a lesson in equal rights, but it’s really not. It’s a lesson in attraction and seduction. Because if you see the game as guys versus girls, you’re never going to possess and be able to display the kind of high social value you need to be seen as truly sexually attractive by the opposite sex. If you follow the bros before hoes philosophy, then you will always be distant from women. You need to forget about the differences between men and women. There are MANY, but there are none that mean you should adopt a strategy that involves maintaining any kind of separation between you and women. Be loyal to your friends, by all means, but do not let your perspective of men and women become distorted.
I know, I know, this sounds like I’m preaching. But I don’t care. This is an important lesson. If you want to be the guy who walks through a bar or club without a single worry in the world, with absolute self-assuredness and self-confidence, with the power to talk to ANY woman and have her genuinely believing that he is the greatest man in the entire place, then you need to forget bros before hoes and start following this mantra:
YOU FIRST…and who wants to tag along?