There are a few different kinds of openers. A couple of the most common, and best, are the opinion opener and the situational opener. Both have their pros and cons. Some guys prefer opinion openers and some swear by their situational openers. Maybe you have your own preference, or maybe you don’t know much about them. Either way, today we’re going to talk about something called the Random Situational Opener. First, though, we need to look at a couple of examples of normal opinion openers and situational openers.
Opinion Opener #1: “Hey guys. Quick question. Me and my friends are having a discussion. What do you think…do guys lie more than girls or the other way round?”
Opinion Opener #2: “Hey. Quick question. My friend swears she’s right about this. Do you think it’s cheating if a girl with a boyfriend kisses another guy in a club? You do? What about if she kisses a girl? Yeah? What if it’s her best friend? No? How come?’
Notice how those opinion openers, along with all openers that aren’t situational ones, are completely random. The girl who’s being asked a question has nothing connecting her and the question or the guy who’s asking it. It’s come out of nowhere. From the guy’s point of view, it could therefore have been about anything. If it’s going to be random, anything is allowed. He could ask about girls kissing girls, penguins being better than dolphins, toast versus sandwiches…anything. The pros of opinion openers are:
- As just stated, they can be about anything, which allows for plenty of fun and uniqueness.
- They are easy to think of because there are no limits.
- They are unique.
The cons of random opinion openers are:
- Because they’re random, they can seem too out of the blue and unexpected. Girls might ask if you’re doing a survey or just why you’re quizzing them.
- Because they’re random, some people can feel like you’re playing with them a little. The question is so random that you could have asked anybody, which doesn’t make them feel very special. You could just be goofing around by asking them for all they know.
Here are a couple of situational openers, with the pros and cons described afterwards.
Situational opener #1: “Hi. Do you know if the DJ here changes every week or is it the same guy all the time?”
Situational opener #2: “Hey, do you like the décor of this place? My friends think it’s a little bit 70s, but I disagree.”
As you might expect, these situational openers (as with all situational openers) reference something about the surroundings the man and the woman are in at that time.
The pros of situational openers are:
- They relate to something real, which makes them feel more genuine
- They woman isn’t as likely to think that you’re goofing her around or being too random
- They’re usually very easy to reply to
The cons are:
- They can be boring, because sometimes the situation/surroundings don’t offer much in the way of interesting subject matter. And this is a pretty major con when you think about it. Your opener needs to be as engaging as possible.
Of course, the disadvantages of opinion openers and situational openers can be cancelled out if they are delivered expertly, but why take the risk? Why not combine the good aspects of both types of opener and thereby get rid of the cons of each? You can do that by creating a Random Situational Opener. A RSO has two components. They are: a comment about the situation or surroundings you’re in, and a random question that relates to that comment.
Random situational opener #1: “Hey. Can I ask you question? My friend has just been telling me about how she thinks this place looks really minimalist, but I disagree. And she says that the worst way you can decorate your home is to have really open spaces and neutral colors. Blacks and whites and stuff. But I disagree. What do you think?” Deliver this with brevity and speed in mind, but clearly. Otherwise, trim it down to: “This place is decorated in a really minimalist way. Do you like that kind of decoration?”
Random Situational Opener #2: “Hey. Me and my friend were just talking to the barman about who lies more, men or women, he swears it’s women, but I wanted to ask a woman before we jump to conclusions.”
As you can see, something about the environment or situation is referenced, then a general question is asked. It’s a much, much more powerful and effective way of opening than simply using an opinion opener OR a situational opener. Try it out and get creative.