Nightclubs can be crazy places. They’re busy, they’re loud…all kinds of stuff is going on. The nightclub environment can present a guy looking to meet new women with some significant obstacles, not least being heard above the thumping music. But that problem isn’t too hard to bypass. Usually you can just shout and move in a little closer to the people you’re talking to—although you shouldn’t lean in too much. A tougher problem is how difficult it can be to catch the attention of a woman or group of people and keep it for more than 30 seconds. More than anywhere else, people in nightclubs have SHORT attention spans. There’s so much going on, so many people around, that if you aren’t the most interesting person in the vicinity, then you’re going to get quickly overlooked. This is often a lesson men only learn when they actually get out there into clubs and start making some approaches. They think their main problems will be what they say and how they should say it, but in reality, most of the time they’ll find that their main concern is winning the opportunity to say ANYTHING in ANY WAY. Groups in clubs are different. A group consisting of only women is much harder to catch and keep the attention of than a group containing men and women. And the more attractive and sought after the women in a group are, especially if there are only women in the group, the harder it is to work with them. So, does this mean that you can’t approach and talk to women in clubs? No. No it doesn’t. But it DOES mean that you need to focus on having high energy and good guidance skills when you’re making approaches in clubs. Here’s what that means.
High Energy
Nightclubs have energy rippling through the air—they’re full of it. And it’s not just any kind of energy, it’s HIGH energy, pure and simple. Everybody is buzzing, talking, laughing, joking. So, if YOU aren’t full of high energy too, you’re going to stand out, but not in a good way. You’ll be seen as an energy black hole. You suck energy out of other people. Girls don’t want to be around a guy with low energy because it takes a lot of work to keep conversation flowing when you have to interact with a low energy person. And just to clarify, by ‘energy’, I mean how lively, enthusiastic, animated, aware and spontaneous you are. You MUST possess high energy when you approach groups in clubs, or you’ll be ejected from them pretty much instantly. Go in with a loud voice so you are heard, smile and keep strong eye contact. Present your opener in a clear way with brevity in mind. Remember that their collective attention span is short. It’s like you’re screening a short TV commercial: give them the core message and package it nicely. Shoot it their way quickly and be ready for their responses.
Proper Guidance
Once you’ve got the high energy you need in place, you need to focus on having very strong guidance skills. In other words, you need to be good at pretty much telling people what to do. I don’t mean that in a bossy sense. What I mean is that you need to be able to not just suggest that someone does something, but actually help them to do it as much as possible. For example, you want to play a hand game with one of the women (like Thumb Wars). Improper guidance would be saying, “Shall we play a game?” Dong. That’s wrong. Proper guidance would be saying, “Put out your hand like this. Okay, we’re going to have a thumb war. Go!” Ding. That’s right. On paper that might sound rather an aggressive approach to encouraging people, but in a nightclub, it’s totally normal. In fact, it’s totally approved of. That’s what you need to do to get things done. If you want to dance with a woman, don’t say “Shall we dance?” say “Let’s see what kind of moves you’ve got…” and lead her by the hand to the dance floor. Again, on paper that might sound corny because it’s so straightforward, but in a club, it’s perfect. It’s the kind of dialogue you need to get used to using if you want your approaches and conversations with women in clubs to go perfectly.