Most guys have to put on at least a little bit of front when they’re talking to attractive women, that is, if their goal is to attract them. But some guys…a rare minority…just seem to genuinely not care when they’re faced with the prospect of conversing with one, two, three or any number of women. It’s not just a show—they really aren’t fazed. Do you know what gives these guys that ability? It’s experience. And not just experience with women, it’s all kinds of experience. That’s what this lesson is about today. Experience is king.
Every experience you have changes the physiology of your brain. Your brains wiring is changing as you read this sentence. You’re becoming a different person in a very subtle, undetectable way. You could say that the bigger and more memorable your life’s experiences are, the more they change you. It’s not about improvement or deterioration though—it’s just change. How does this concept relate to attracting women? Well, the theory goes roughly like this. The more experiences you have, the more complex and solid your personality becomes. You know more because you’ve done more. And because you’ve done more, you’re more capable of handling yourself in a variety of situations. Let’s use an imaginary 25 year old guy as an example. He has been to high school and been to college. He’s been on three vacations in his life, one to Canada, one to Mexico and one to New York. Two of those vacations happened before he was 16. He’s had two girlfriends. Forgetting what the finer details of his personality are, what do you think his experiences has taught him? He’s seen foreign soil, which was probably quite interesting. He’s also, of course, done other stuff on a small scale that has affected his persona. He was on the football team for 5 years. He watches a lot of movies. You get the idea. Normal stuff.
Now let’s imagine how much stronger and experienced he would be if he were to do some of the following:
- Go to India for 3 months and help the locals build a village
- Join a free acting class
- Start going out much more often to clubs with friends
- Start reading more books on a variety of subjects
- Join a gym and start working out
It doesn’t matter too much what the activities he chooses are. What matters is that he is multiplying his number of day-to-day experiences. And every one of those experiences adds to his character, making it more varied and interesting. He becomes stronger. The alternative to this character-enriching approach is living a life in which he goes to work, comes home, watches some TV, goes out with friends twice a month, sometimes reads but sometimes doesn’t…he doesn’t push the boat out. You must always be striving to experience new things if you want to build your character and personality enough to be able to walk through a bar or nightclub and feel totally at ease. The more you do, the simpler this one action becomes.