When you’re talking to a woman with the intention, or hope, of attracting her, it’s not just what you say that counts, it’s also the words you choose to use to say it. Words are powerful. They can give the person hearing them a real emotional response. For example, read the following two lists of words.
List one:
- Death
- Black
- Dying
- Murder
- Pain
- Lies
- Funeral
- Cancer
List two:
- Smile
- Happy
- Health
- Success
- Inspiration
If you read both of those lists out loud, you’ll find that the first one tends to make you feel less lively and happy than the second one, which should make your mood feel much lighter and happier. That happens not just because of what the words mean, but because the words themselves are linked in our minds with different emotional states. If the word funeral is said, we don’t think we’re at a funeral, but we do feel a small degree of negative emotion because we’re reminded of the idea of a funeral. This is all just a way of saying that words really matter when you’re giving messages—and attracting a woman is all about giving her the right messages.
When you are in a conversation with a woman you want to attract, you should bear the following in mind. You should always describe the components of your stories in the detail they deserve
Here are two extracts from a story a man might tell a woman while speaking to her. The first one contains very little descriptiveness, whereas the second one is full of it.
#1: “I was out there with a couple of my friends on my lunch break. We were just minding our own business. Anyway, I think I was laughing about something just as our boss walked out. He’s weird. He comes up to me and asks, “What’s the big joke?” So I just say that I was laughing at something I saw on The Simpsons the other day and he makes a funny noise and walks off.”
#2: “I was on my lunch break with my friends Joe and David. We were sitting on the wall we always sit on, eating our sandwiches and whatnot. I’m cracking up about this thing that was on The Simpsons the night before. It was one of those things that was pretty funny, but at that moment, was hilarious. So out walks our boss who’s always got a chip on his shoulder. He strolls up to us in his denim suit and is like “What’s the big idea? What’s funny?” I’m a little confused, so I tell him what I was laughing at and he gives me this look, like he’s just realised that he’s forgotten to out his underwear on that morning or something—just a deflation. He’s unhappy. He saunters off, leaving us pretty bemused. Some bosses are just weird though, don’t you think? It’s something about their position of authority…”
The two stories are pretty much the same but the second one is improved by more details, better word choice and more of a structure. It also has a pay-off, or a point at the end of it, which is that bosses seem to be weird a lot of the time. That way, the woman doesn’t feel like you’ve just told her a story which she can’t easily respond to. The story, apart from being entertaining, also has a point. So, remember:
- Choose interesting words over plain ones. “Bemused” is better than “confused”. “Like a gorilla” is better than “He was well-built”. Liven your language up without going overboard and sounding like a walking thesaurus.
- Structure your short stories so they have a beginning, a middle and an end.
- Make sure your stories have a pay-off at the end which allows the woman to respond with her own comments or stories.