Finding, talking to, attracting and beginning to a date a woman from scratch is pretty tricky when you don’t know all of the ins and outs of the game, but going from a girl’s male friend to her boyfriend can sometimes be even more difficult. Here’s why:
- The status of your relationship has already been firmly established, both in your mind and in hers. You’re friends. That’s that.
- In a way, it would make sense to think that if you were suited to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, you wouldn’t have become just good friends.
- There seems to be a large risk attached to the idea of trying to go from being the girl’s friend to being her boyfriend. If you mess up, you could lose her friendship.
- You don’t want to feel like you’ve somehow committed a kind of betrayal by suddenly becoming sexually interested in her.
So, how are you supposed to counter all of those negatives? Here’s how.
Firstly, you might as well forget right now about the transition between being her friend and her boyfriend being a quick one. This is going to take more than a few days. The first thing you need to do is make absolutely sure that your life is top notch. What I mean by that is that you need your value in her mind to be through the roof before you venture into ‘letting her know how you feel’ territory. The theory goes like this: before you try to attract her, she must SEE that you are attractive. You can’t attract her by being the same person you’ve been to her for the last however long. You need to adapt yourself. A new you will mean that she’s meeting you in sort of a new way. Dedicate time to enriching your social life. Join some clubs, widen your social circle, go travelling (that might sound counter-productive, but it’s a good idea if she knows about it)…do STUFF. You want her to see you as a man with high INDEPENDENT social value, because that is what is attractive. Instead of changing who you are to her in HER WORLD, you need to bring her into YOUR world. That’s a lot of words in caps, but they’re necessary to get the point across. If you try to simply announce how you feel about her, she’ll see you as the same guy you were before except now you want to date her. First become attractive, then attract her.
Widen your social circle by developing new friendships with other men and women and then invite your ‘target’ girl to events with these new friends. Because she doesn’t know them, you will be her connection to them. You’ll be the person she looks up to. Always concentrate on crafting your own world and then bringing her into it. If you try to work your way into her social life on her terms, you’ll be treading dangerous ground. Once you have guided her into your social life on new terms, you’ll be able to transition into flirting with her. You’ll do this in a different way to how you’d usually flirt with a girl. In this case, you will not tease her in a blatant way, you’ll tease her like a little sister. Playfully but with warmth. Increase tactility by playing games like Thumb Wars. Arm wrestle her.
When, after a couple of months of developing things between you and her in the ways just described, you are ready to move things forward once more, you can say to her: “Recently I’ve really been drawn to you…like a magnet. We’re sparky. Something about being around you agrees with me. Do you know what I mean?” Hopefully she will, because by now she’ll have invested herself enough in your ‘new’ life and had enough fun in it to see you as much more than just a friend.