The fear of approaching women is an affliction that all men suffer. Show me a man who feels no apprehension at the thought of approaching an attractive woman and I’ll show you the descendants of a long extinct caveman.
While all men struggle with this fear, not all men are successful at overcoming it. If you are one of these men and you are sick of going home alone when everybody else has got a hot date to the after party, here’s the 7-day crash course to help you overcome your fear of approaching women and become a confident dater.
Day 1: Reflect and conquer
First thing you have to do is to identify the root of your fear. Are you afraid of rejection, getting laughed at, making a mistake, stuttering? List absolutely everything down. Sometimes, just verbalizing our fears is enough to release the stress and become more relaxed when meeting women.
Once you’ve listed down your fears, opposite them list down ways you can defeat that fear. Some questions to think about: What’s the likelihood of them taking place? If it does take place, what’s the worse that can happen? How can you rebound? Is there long term damage?
Now that you have your list, internalize it on the first day. Review it every day until you feel that you’re much more confident.
Day 2: Go on a makeover
A lot of our hang ups about ourselves stem from our insecurities on the way we look. We may think that we are too fat, too scrawny, too ugly, too geeky, too uninteresting, etc. Let us address these concerns to boost our confidence.
Admittedly, some of them require long term solutions like diet and exercise. On the short term, you can make yourself look better by improving your hair and your clothes. Your look and your confidence can definitely benefit from some quick and easy changes to your appearance. Devote day 2 to creating your new and improved look.
Day 3: Conditioning Exercise: Flash a Smile
The next thing you do is slowly condition yourself to get used to interacting with women you don’t know. What you do is choose a place where there are a lot of women – like in a park or in a supermarket. Whenever you see a woman, I want you to smile. Flash a genuine, friendly smile and see women smile back at you. You may choose women who do not scare you – non threatening women – to get you used to smiling at women.
Day 4: Conditioning Exercise: Smile at Attractive Women
Now that you’re pretty used to smiling at women who do not intimidate you, you can start smiling at women whom you find attractive. Once again, choose a venue where there are lots of women. And then initially, alternate smiling at non threatening women and attractive women. Do this until you are able to smile at attractive women easily.
Day 5: Conditioning Exercise: Chat
Next step is to become comfortable chatting to women. Again, choose a venue where there are lots of women and do this only with women whom you are not sexually attracted to. Smile, walk up to them and chat with them. You can do this by asking them a question or giving a general comment. The objective of this exercise is to get you used to smiling, approaching and starting a conversation with strangers who happen to be women.
Day 6: Conditioning Exercise: Chat with Attractive Women
Day 6 is a repeat of yesterday’s exercise, only this time instead of non-threatening women, you’re going to approach attractive women. You may start by alternating non-threatening and attractive women until you can chat exclusively with attractive women. Progress by having longer and longer chats as you move along your targets.
Day 7: Social Venues
By now, you’ve smiled and talked to probably a hundred women and tens of attractive women. You are used to approaching women you don’t know and striking a conversation with them. You’re now ready to test your new skills at a more social venue like a party or a club. Remember, you can warm up with women you aren’t attracted to and then afterwards approach the women you want to attract.