When you are hanging out with an attractive woman you know or perhaps you’ve just met, how do you select a topic to make sure you have a lively conversation with her? We already know what not to talk about (politics, religion, past relationships). But how do we decide what to talk about?
Here are some guidelines to help you choose and decide what topic to bring up, how to bring it up, and how to keep the conversation going.
1. Simple to answer.
When you introduce a topic, you should make it easy for her to respond to it. It shouldn’t have to require a lot of thought or a lot of expertise to be able to contribute to the conversation.
2. Interesting to think about.
The topic should be interesting to think about. True, you don’t want to require her to spend too much effort thinking and preparing an answer, but you do want something fun that people want to think about. Keep in mind that fun means different things to different people so make sure your brand of fun is compatible with hers so you don’t risk offending her.
3. Somewhat controversial.
There should be an element of controversy to your topic that will allow you to take contrary sides and have a fun, lively debate. It should be opinion-based, rather than fact-based. In fact, the more possible answers there are, the better.
4. Realistic.
Granted that it should be opinion-based, your new topic should carry some relevance to what you are currently doing or what you are currently discussing. You can’t just introduce a topic out of the blue. You want to integrate the new topic naturally into your conversation by using verbal bridges to make the transition.
5. Delivered as a short story.
Instead of asking a question straight away, it’s best if you could frame your question within the context of an interesting short story. It makes everyone more involved in the topic and more willing to contribute to it.
6. Insert what-if’s.
To keep the conversation going, introduce what-if’s and keep coming up with new scenarios. The new scenarios should challenge the position that the girl you’re talking to has taken. This is also a great way to flirt and tease with her.
7. Based on the level of rapport that you have established.
Generally, your choice of topic will depend on both of your backgrounds and your level of familiarity with each other. The more you know each other, the more topics you can explore and the livelier the conversation tends to be. When you’ve established a certain rapport with her, you will be able to comfortably share your opinions and experiences and this is the key ingredient of a lively conversation.