When you are in the getting-to-know-each-other stage, it can be difficult to find enough topics to keep the conversation flowing. This is because you don’t know enough about each other yet and often you are unsure about how far you can go on a certain topic without putting her off or offending her.
At this early stage, your goal is two fold: First, you want to get to know her better and find out if she really is your type. Second, you want to make a good impression on her. You want her to like you back and to find you attractive as well.
A rule of thumb when it comes to these types of conversations is to remember to talk to her about the things she likes – and not just the things that you like or topics that you are comfortable with. Don’t hog the conversation or talk about yourself and your interests. Apart from appearing conceited, you also miss out on the opportunity to gather information about her that will allow you to impress her even more.
That said, it doesn’t mean that you go the other extreme and never talk about yourself your interest at all. This is just as bad as appearing conceited, because you lose out on the chance to show her what a great, smart and funny guy you are!
The key is to strike a balance, to have both of you participating and sharing in the conversation. If she’s happy to talk about her interests and share her views, let her. But if she’s the type who’s a bit reserved, someone who likes to listen, then be sure to pack enough stories to engage her interest.
So if you’re looking for ideas, here are some topics on what to talk to girls about during your first few meetings. These topics are great to use as starting points to any conversation, because they’re neutral, and they’re easy to navigate to pursue other, more interesting topics.
1. The weather. Don’t laugh! It may sound mundane, but really, the weather as a topic has a rich potential as a springboard to other topics. For example, while talking about the weather, you can move the conversation to how she chose her outfit to get to work that morning, or how it affected the mode of transportation she used, the amount of traffic on the street, the weather in places she’s travelled to, food cravings that are weather dependent, or activities that are great to do when the weather is a specific way. I could go on and on, and so can you.
2. Work. The amount of time we spend at work means a large part of who we are is defined by what we do. Talking about work will allow you to see where her passions are. At the same time, talking about work will also allow her to see how talented you are. It adds to your value as boyfriend material to know that you’re a well regarded expert in a certain field. Keep in mind that we’re not talking about how much you’re earning. Even if you don’t earn much (not that I’d advise you to talk about how much each of you are making), as long as you show confidence, passion and expertise, it’s enough to make her think highly of you.
3. A topic that you’re an expert at. And speaking of expertise, when faced with a lull in the conversation, it’ll be good for you to share a story about something that you’re truly an expert at. It doesn’t have to be work related – it could be about a hobby that you enjoy, an interesting piece of news you read that morning, an opinion about something somewhat controversial, a trivia that really amazed you, a new “it” gadget you’re lusting after – it could be about anything, really, as long as it’s something you know inside out. You don’t want to be caught with an “I’m not really sure…” when she asks you more about it.
4. Media – TV, music, movie, site, etc. Popular media is a great starting point to find out more about her other interests. A popular movie, what’s playing on her ipod, where her fave artists or bands are playing, or the blogs that she’s following – these are all topics that you can talk on and on about.
5. Food. Food is a great topic because it can be controversial when you need it to be, and it can also be safe and fun. Everyone is always on a diet – even the no-diet diet is a diet. People love to talk and share interesting food finds. It could also be a pre-curser to a conversation on where you’ll go on your next dinner rendezvous.
The secret to making a conversation flow? Read and share! Read as often as you can on topics that you find interesting. And then practice sharing what you know with other people. That’s the best way to always have a roster of interesting topics to help you decide what to talk to girls about.