When most men talk to women, they play things much too safe. And the hotter the woman is, the safer they tend to play the game. What this means is that the take very few, if any risks. They don’t push the boat out and demonstrate to the woman that they are truly confident and socially experienced. It’s really no wonder beautiful women get bored talking to most guys after about 3 minutes: the guys give the women nothing to be really interested in. That’s not to say that the guys don’t give the women anything, far from it, they give the women anything they want: they laugh at their jokes, buy their drinks, agree with their opinions, nod their heads for hours…but they still don’t give the woman what she really wants—a little uncertainty and spontaneity.
When you show a woman that you are capable of taking risks, she respects you more and considers you to be of higher social value (and therefore attractiveness) than the men she meets who take fewer risks. Take the following as an example.
A guy has been talking to a hot woman for 4 minutes. The conversation has been fairly good. There has been a bit of a spark and some good laughter. However, things have started to slow down by the 5 minute mark. The guy thinks the girl likes him and is somewhat attracted to him, but he can’t be sure. The woman pretty much knows for sure that the guy is attracted to her. She is therefore holding back a little—she isn’t massively forthcoming with new topics of conversation and fun things to do to fire up the interaction again. The man has a choice here. He needs to decide what to do next. He does what most men do: he tries to fire up the conversation. He turns up his energy and picks something fun to talk about. It works, to some degree. The conversation continues.
But what if the guy had taken a risk at the 4 minute mark? Think about it. The man thought the woman was probably somewhat attracted to him, whereas the woman knew for sure that the man was attracted to her. At this point, the man is in the slightly weaker, harder position. He’s got the most work to do. BUT, instead of accepting that challenge and plowing through some new conversational material, what if he took a risk and froze the woman out a little? Instead of doing what the woman expects him to, he could do something unexpected, by turning his body slightly away from her and talking to someone else. This is truly pushing the boat out. It shows extreme social confidence, because the man clearly isn’t relying on his conversation with the woman to be the defining part of his night. Not only does he demonstrate this attractive quality of independent value, he also performs a test. How will the woman react? If she is genuinely attracted to him, she will react by trying to get his attention back. He she isn’t, she won’t. The test is perfect, because if she reacts by seeking his attention once more, he can reward her by talking to her again. If she doesn’t bother, then the problem is solved for the guy. He either moves on or goes back to talk to her with new knowledge: she is not yet attracted to him and therefore more work needs to be done to develop an attraction.
By taking this kind of social ‘risk’, you can kill two birds with one seduction stone. You demonstrate attractive male qualities (risk taker, independent thinker, socially confident) AND you find out what the woman’s feelings towards you really are.