In the world of the pick up artist, getting a girl’s phone number after having a conversation with her is called ‘closing’. It’s a term that has been borrowed from the world of sales. Closing is one of the things men struggle with most because it’s make or break for them—even after they’ve had a really good conversation with a woman, it can all go down hill in an instant if she turns him down at the last second. He could look a fool for trying to close.
When you close, the first thing you need to remember is that there MUST be attraction and rapport between you and the woman. If there isn’t, how could the woman be expected to give you her phone number? Check her body language and analyze the things she’s saying to see if she is attracted to you. Then, follow this advice.
1. You should make it easy for the girl to agree to what you’re suggesting.
If you take the hard work out of the decision making process, she doesn’t need to think of things you could do or why you should do them. All she needs to say is “yes!” Sometimes a girl really will want to see you again, but because arranging something can be such an awkward task, she’ll decide it’s too much hard work to bother with. By giving her a clear and concise choice, you remove this problem completely.
2. You should demonstrate you’re confident enough that she likes you to suggest you see each other again.
By showing that you think it’s more than likely she find you attractive, you also show that you have a high opinion of yourself, a solid level of self-confidence and self-belief. And because she’s the one recognizing these positive traits in you, you don’t come across as over-confident an arrogant, so many guys who push their false self-assuredness in girls’ faces.
3. You should set the standard and allow the girl to suggest something equally specific.
Let’s say the girl couldn’t agree to your first suggestion for some reason. She definitely likes you, but simply couldn’t say ‘yes’. For example, perhaps you attempted an arrangement close by saying you should swap email addresses. Unfortunately, she genuinely doesn’t have one. However, because you were so straight-forward and specific in suggesting how you could swap contact information, the girl is now much, much more likely to say something like, “I don’t have an email address. I’ve got my cell phone though! Here’s my number…” If you had been ambiguous when you made your first suggestion, the girl would have probably followed in your first steps and not jumped at the chance to make her own specific suggestion.
4. Your directness should demonstrate positive interest, as opposed to negative intentions
In conversation, it’s important you don’t quickly skip from subject to subject because doing so shows that you don’t really care what you talk about with a girl, just that you are talking to her. This lowers your value in her mind, because you’re putting her on a pedestal that says she deserves special attention and adoration. In closing, a similar concept applies. When you’re specific in your closing suggestion, you show that you interested in doing a particular thing with the girl, something you’ve thought about and decided would be fun. When you make the suggestion to the girl, she recognizes this and likes it – which makes her say ‘yes’. However, if you are vague in what you suggest when you close, the followed message is conveyed to the girl: “I don’t really care what we do or when we do it, all I know is that I want to see you again!” This doesn’t come across as very attractive to her because, once again, she’s been unduly elevated to a superior level to you. For her to be attracted to you, she needs to either be on a par with your or a little below.
Follow these general rules and closing will never be as difficult for you as it is for most other men.