Black Belt Seduction Blog: How to pick-up, attract and seduce women

If you could read women’s minds, it would be all too easy to find out what moves work and how to get the best response from her. While we don’t have access to women’s minds, we do have access to their body language, which is the next best thing. Decoding the attraction signals her body unconsciously sends will help us figure out whether she is attracted to us, too.

There are a lot of signals to watch out for. So be sure to keep your eyes open for these signs:

• Eye contact. Do you catch her stealing glances in your direction? And when you look at her, does she always quickly look away, flushed and embarrassed? This tells you that she definitely finds you interesting. She wants to observe what you are like when you are not looking, but is embarrassed to have you find out just how obsessed she is with you. How often her gaze falls on you is also an indication of how much she likes you. The more often she turns to find where you are, the more attracted she is to you.
• She’s always there in the places you go to. She’s not stalking you. She’s just trying to get herself noticed. If she’s suddenly every where in the places and parties you go to, and you know that it’s not her usual thing to be in some of those places, then you can bet that she’s sending you some pretty strong attraction signals.
• She agrees with everything you say. When a girl likes a guy, she tends to agree with everything he says. This shows in her body language as well. She would always be facing the guy, listening to what he has to say. She’d be nodding often, sometimes repeating or rephrasing what he has just said. If you were to ask her out, she would always say yes, going as far as re-arranging her schedule to accommodate it.
• She stands in your circle of personal space. You know she likes you when she positions herself close to you. When walking, even without touching, she’d be inside your circle of personal space. This gesture tells you that she wants to be closer to you, and she’s ready for your relationship to be more than friendly.
• She plays with her hair and exposes her neck. When you talk to her, does she flip her hair back behind her ear? It means she wants to listen to what you have to say. Does she move her hair back to expose her neck? Drawing attention to her long, slender neck is a sure sign of attraction. This tells you that she wants you to think she’s sexy.
• She enjoys being alone with you. Do you always find yourself spending some alone time with her? It may not be as spontaneous as it seems to be. When a girl likes you, she’ll find a way to get you alone. Maybe she’ll volunteer the two of you to buy snacks for everybody or lure you to the dance floor. However it happens, if you find yourself with her and just her, you can trust that she finds you attractive, too.
• She initiates physical contact. She may not come out and grab your hand, but she’ll be increasing the frequency of friendly skin to skin contact between the two of you. Maybe she’ll be standing close to you so your bodies touch. Or maybe she will sling her arm around yours when you guys are walking together. You will be able to tell if it’s a casual touch of if it means something else by observing how she is with other people. If she’s the type who creates a careful no-contact space between her and her other male friends, then you can be sure her casual touch means a lot more.

Good looks is important when attracting girls. But even good looks can only get you so far. In reality, there are plenty more traits women admire in men that are more important than good looks. Money helps, but that’s not what I’m talking about either.

These two - money and good looks – are usually the root of shyness in most guys.  They think that they are not rich enough or handsome enough to date gorgeous women. Popular media seems to support this opinion, and that’s why a lot of us are misled into thinking that unless you have Greek handsome features and Trump fortune, supermodels are just out of your league.

But then, look at the people around you – you see gorgeous girls dating men who are handsome and not so handsome, guys who drive Audis and Jaguars and the middle class guys who take the subway. What’s the common denominator that makes these men so successful with women regardless of their actual wealth and looks?

In this article, I’ll share with you the secret to getting sexy, smart and popular girls to like you. Here are the 3 secret ways guys can attract girls using traits that all women find sexy and irresistible in men.

1.       Confidence

If there’s one secret that will have a drastic effect on your dating life, it’s this: It’s not the money or the good looks that make rich and handsome guys attractive to women, but rather it’s the attitude, the air of certainty that they exude that makes them irresistible to women.

Why is this secret so powerful? Once you realize it’s all about confidence, then you’ll know exactly that what you need to build on is your attitude. You need to believe in your ability to attract women, to enjoy yourself when you’re with attractive women, to focus on the fact that women need your acknowledgement and approval more than you need theirs.

Confidence is a very potent weapon that guys can use in attracting girls. But how do you show confidence if you’re not that confident? Like anything else, it takes practice. You have to fake it till you make it. You have to ignore and bury the apprehension until they’re truly gone.

Be careful not to overdo it though – what women want is confidence, not arrogance.

2.       Eye Contact

Establishing eye contact is a sign of confidence. It’s also a way to communicate attitude, desire and emotion non-verbally. Once mastered, it’s a very effective tool for flattering women, teasing them, flirting, showing your dominance, establishing your sincerity and credibility and more.

Here are some eye contact techniques you can use and what they mean:

a.       Intent gaze from a distance – looking at a woman intently, and not looking away even when she sees you can be very sexy. It tells the woman that you desire her and that you are confident that you will prevail.

b.      Keeping eye contact during a conversation – this tells the woman that you are interested in what she’s saying and that you are listening to her. It is important to have this so that you will be perceived as honest and sincere.

c.       Breaking eye contact – done right, breaking eye contact during a conversation can be a sign of confidence and dominance.  It tells the woman that you are not afraid of offending her and in fact, she should be working even harder in impressing you so that you can reward her with your attention.

3.       Social Skills

One way of establishing dominance to let her see that you are dominant in most of your other social relationships.  If she sees that you’re comfortable, well-liked and even admired by peers or even people she considers her “social superiors”, then she’s likely to want to impress you.

This is also why in the early stages of getting to know a girl, you don’t want to just hang out with her the entire time that you are together. That will make it seem like you are clingy and desperate for her affection – which is a real turn off.

Instead, what you want to do is spend about 40% of your time talking to other people or introducing other people into your conversation with your girl. Go ahead and talk to other men and women – yes, even the gorgeous ones. Just remember to keep those conversations light and pleasant – absolutely no flirting with another girl.

Before you make a move and transform a platonic relationship into a sexual relationship, you would typically want to make sure she is already sexually attracted to you. There’s no point rushing in now and risking your friendship and your chance to date a girl that you like if she’s not yet ready to make the transition.

To check if your friend is ready to become your girlfriend, watch out for these signs that she’s falling for you:

1.  She calls you and talks to you on the phone for hours. This says a lot about the level of comfort that you have achieved with each other. If she’s calling you more and more often and you find yourself chatting with her till the wee hours of the morning, you’ve got a real connection going on between the two of you. Definitely a good sign that she sees you as more than just a friend.

2.  She gets jealous when you talk about other girls or when she sees you approaching other girls. She won’t come right out and admit it. After all, she knows that she has no right to get jealous. But she will let you know how annoyed she is by ignoring you for a while or avoiding you when she sees you with another girl.

3.  She suddenly becomes very sensitive. Perhaps you are used to treating her like one of the boys and you like to tease her a lot. Suddenly, she becomes unusually sensitive to your comments and wonders if you are half serious when you tease her, especially if you tease her about her appearance.

4. She starts dressing up more femininely. If she begins to pay more attention to how she looks, she might be trying to remind you that she is a girl.

5.  She never misses a chance to spend time with you, especially if it’s just the two of you. If she’s almost always free to accompany you, if she changes her plans or moves her schedule around just to be able to hang out with you, that’s a definite sign she likes you.

6. She mentions you a lot to her friends. Girls cannot help but talk about a guy they like or quote them on something they said. So if you learn from her friends that she’s quoting you a lot or mentions your name a lot, that’s your green light to make your move.

7. She expects you to do things that boyfriends normally do, like bring her home or hanging out just the two of you. If you normally do these things for her, the tell tale sign to watch out for is how she will react if you miss any of these tasks. If she’s cool about it, then she’s a good friend. But if she suddenly turns ice cold, there’s definitely something going on.

8.  She tries to get good with your family. When girls like a guy, they want to impress not just the guy, but his family as well. She’ll be especially nice to his siblings or to his mom and act really warmly around his family to make sure they have a good opinion of her.

9.  She asks you to give a remark on her appearance or on how well she’s doing. When friends ask each other for an opinion, they really want to know your honest opinion. But when a girl likes a guy, she asks for an opinion and expects to get an affirmation. So when she starts phrasing her questions where you have no choice but to agree with her or to praise her, then that means your approval is becoming more and more valuable to her.

10.  She touches you more often. A good indication that a girl is falling for you is if she touches you more frequently or stands really close to you more often. If you notice this, then you should definitely ask her to be your girlfriend.

When a woman meets someone she likes, her body sends out signals to let the other person know that she likes him. This is all done without her conscious knowledge. And because it’s unconscious, it’s very, very hard to manipulate body language to mask what she is truly feeling. She may tell you one thing, but if her body language signals otherwise, you’ll know which is which.

In order to be successful at meeting and dating women, you need to be perceptive of the signals that she will give out. To find out if she finds you sexually attractive, here’s a list of common flirting signals women use.

1.       She smiles shyly and looks coyly at you. When a woman first sees you and she finds you interesting, she will smile and look at you a certain way. Once she gets your attention, she will slowly lower her gaze and look away. This is her way of inviting you to approach her and start a conversation

2.       She shows you more of her skin. When a woman is attracted to you, she will seek to attract you by showing a bit more skin. For example, she’ll tilt her head to one side to show you her neck.  She’ll touch her bare shoulders. If she’s sitting down, she may move her hands on her hips or on her legs. The movement of her arms seeks to draw your attention to her bare skin.

3.       She nods in agreement often and listens intently. When you are talking to a woman who finds you sexually attractive, she’s going to want to flatter you by giving you her complete attention. She establishes eye contact, tilts her head to one side and will nod in agreement often. She will also smile a lot, even if you’re not saying anything particularly amusing. She will also try to end your sentences for you or rephrase your statements.

4.       She moves into your personal space. A woman who finds you sexually attractive will not be afraid to walk into your personal space. By moving into your personal space, she’s giving you permission to be a bit more physical with her.

5.       She touches you. This is one of the more aggressive flirting signals that a woman is attracted to you. How do you distinguish flirting from friendly touch? If the touch seems to linger longer, and if it happens in increasing frequency, she’s flirting with you.

6.       She draws attention to her lips. A woman who is attracted to you will unconsciously try to draw your attention to her lips. She does this by touching her lips, pouting or playing with her straw.

7. She removes physical barriers to get close to you. A woman who is attracted to you will actively try to make herself more inviting to approach. She’ll make sure she doesn’t cross her arms and she adopts an open posture. She might move away from her group so you can approach her. Or she might subtly parade herself around you, to make sure you notice her.

It’s no secret that men fantasize about dating very sexy women. If you go to any bachelor’s room, the evidence is overwhelming. Desktop background, screen savers, video downloads, the music he listens to, the movie he watches - evidence of is obsession with gorgeous women is everywhere. And yet, if we were to describe the ratio of men who are obsessed with gorgeous women to men who actually date them, it would be a grossly inverse relationship - and this is not due to a lack of pretty women.

It’s practically a fact: average guys don’t end up dating girls who they consider way too beautiful. Guys rate women and for a majority of men, women who are 9s and 10s are too out of their league to even try for. Average guys “settle” for average girls. To understand why, here are 8 reasons why men tend to avoid dating women who are very attractive:

1.       Fear of rejection. Girls who are very attractive are thought to be hunk magnets. Since they’re approached so often by so many guys, it’s much easier for them to reject guys. Hence, it’s the chances of a guy getting rejected within seconds of approaching a girl is doubled, even tripled when the girl is super attractive.

2.       Fear of being exposed. Since the very pretty girls are approached so often by men who want to date them, they become quite familiar with the various styles and techniques that men use to attract women. This familiarity means she’s probably familiar with the moves an average guy might spring on her, rendering his chances of success close to nil.

3.       Excessive shyness. Some men are just shy around women. And the prettier the women, or the more of them there are to interact with, the more his shyness intensifies.

4.       Low self esteem. Like attracts like. Following this logic, very pretty women deserve and probably expect to be with a very hunky guy. Average guys view themselves as average, which means not good looking enough, not rich enough, not tall enough, not good enough for a super attractive female.

5.       Procrastination. The odds of an average guy dating a foxy lady seem like an overwhelming 10 million to 1. With odds like that, why even bother trying?

6.       Clueless on what to do and say. Very pretty ladies also appear to be very sophisticated and adept at playing the seduction game. What can you say or do to impress someone who probably has seen and heard every tactic known to man?

7.       Performance anxiety. Well, these average guys are not used to talking to hot, sexy ladies. This makes them anxious when interacting with them.

8.       Fear of embarrassment. Nobody wants to make a fool of themselves, especially so in front of someone they find very attractive. Sometimes, the threat of embarrassment is so real that it cowers men from considering other, more likely possibilities.

Did you know that women will know within mere seconds of meeting you if they want to date you or not? This only goes to show that this choice is not based on a rational decision making process but is instead based on intuition and stereotypical profiles of men. This makes it really crucial for you to understand how you can make a great impression every time you go out and meet women.

To be able to do this, we must first understand what factors go into how women intuitively decide whether you are date material or not. These factors have their roots in women’s biological make up and how we as a specie determine what a good sexual match is.

For many centuries, women have always defined a good sexual match as one who has strong genes and the ability and willingness to protect her and her offspring. The manifestations of these are confidence, leadership ability, social status. The man who manifests all these traits is known as the alpha male. He does not necessarily have to be good looking or rich as long as his status is one where other men look up to and aspire to be like him and other women vie for his attention.

If you want to fain women’s favorable opinion upon meeting them, you need to transform yourself into today’s equivalent of an alpha male. How you act around other people - both men and women  - will form the basis of women’s evaluation whether or not you are alpha male. So, what kind of behavior are we referring to?

The first criterion is confidence. You need to be confident in your speech and in your actions. You need to be comfortable in your own skin so that you will not feel the need to sacrifice a bit of yourself or your beliefs just to please other people. You can ignore the pressure to comply with what other people think or fear other people’s opinion because of your strong self-belief.

The second criterion is leadership ability. In times past, alpha males are often the leaders of their tribes as a result of them earning the esteem and trust of the members of the tribe. Fast forward to modern times, alpha males often take the lead in various social situations. They continue to be decision makers because they continue be regarded highly. If you want to become an alpha male, you need to who women that you can step up and take the lead.

The third criterion is high social status. Social mores dictate a code of behavior between a leader and his followers. In exchange for the trust and the admiration of his followers, a leader is expected to always do what’s best for his followers. He makes his decisions with care and a considerable amount of thought because he knows that his status as a leader is contingent on his ability to make decisions that are good for his group. This relationship requires loyalty and responsibility on the part of the leader, which satisfy women’s intuitive need not just to find sexual partners with strong genes, but also one who will be loyal to her when the time comes when she has to rely on him to protect her and her offspring.

If you are not alpha male, you can become one over time. As you may have realized, being alpha male is not just adopting a set regimen of behaviors. Instead, it involves first and foremost, a change in outlook. With proper guidance and sufficient knowledge, you can become an alpha male and use more advanced seduction techniques to create attraction within seconds of meeting women.