Black Belt Seduction Blog: How to pick-up, attract and seduce women

We all have a sense, albeit a vague one, of why we’re here and what we need to do during this life. I’m not talking about religious nonsense or any ‘grand scheme’ or anything. I’m talking about the reality we know we’re in. We’re higher primates, creatures that have evolved over an unthinkably large space of time to have large brains and opposable thumbs, which is a formidable combination. Our advanced cognitive and cooperative skills have allowed us to create massive civilisations, full of technology. And that technology has in turn enabled us to further develop our intelligence and social skills. We’re a species that’s strapped to a rocket of forward progress. It’s 40 years since we pointlessly planted a flag on our moon, for God’s sake. Now we’re looking at the real estate Mars has to offer. But despite all of the gizmos we have, all of the cities we have built and all of knowledge we’ve crammed into our heads, into books and onto the internet, we’re still just naked apes with a couple of fundamental, unchanging goals in mind: stay alive and have sex. It might not feel that way, but the 360,000 new people born into this world each and every day testify to this unavoidable fact: we like to find mates and make babies with them. People have goals in life…all kinds of goals. This guy wants to be a doctor, this girl wants to travel the world, this fellow wants nothing more than to open his own hardware store. Whatever a person’s goals are, it’s a safe bet to assume that the one goal they share with most other people is to partner up with a member of the opposite sex and build a relationship with them.

So! How does all of that introductory text relate to the subject of picking up women? Well, we’ve established two things, two facts. First, we are basically animals with the same biological goals other animals have. Second, we’ve come a long way from the jungle. Despite being clever apes, we’re also clever people. And this is why so many men struggle to attract and meet women. They have the same goals they’ve always had, but now they’re playing the game on a different field with different rules. This is why you can see, on any Friday or Saturday night, a whole host of men overcompensating in an effort to attract a woman. They overcompensate in body language and behaviour. They try to do what they think it takes to impress women but they go too far. For example, in their gut they know that women respect and find attractive men who are physically strong. So, what do they do? They overcompensate by sticking their chests out and walking, no swaggering, like they’re on a war path. They flex their muscles to show off their strength. What else? In their gut they know that women like men who are respected by other men. So, they overcompensate by being overbearing to other men. They intimidate other males as a way of establishing a hierarchy. They are higher than any other man and they want women to notice that fact. One more example. Men know in their gut that women like men who are confident and unafraid of them. So they overcompensate by pinching girls’ asses as they walk past, or walking up to them and saying, “Wanna play house? You be the screen door and I’ll slam you all night long.” Jesus.

The lesson here is that although men and women have pretty much the same goals they’ve always had (to pair up), the process of getting there is different these days. It’s more complicated. More subtle. More nuanced. Too many men think that the best way to succeed with the ladies is to concentrate on the qualities they know women historically want (strength, leadership, alpha-maleness) and exaggerate them until they see the desired results. This is a flawed strategy and one you must avoid. Instead you must aim to demonstrate and display desirable qualities through modern, socially-acceptable behaviour. For example, a man who overcompensates might try to show that he is an alpha male and a social leader by being overbearing to other men. He might subtly (or not so subtly) put another man down in his (and the woman’s) presence. This screams overcompensation and the woman instantly notices it. A man who knows what he’s doing, however, would choose a much more modern, socially-acceptable way to show that he is a leader. He might bring the woman into his large group of friends or tell her a story that clearly demonstrates that he possesses leadership qualities. It’s the carrot or the stick approach. Women want to be drawn into your world, not beaten and dragged into it. You’ll tend to find that women with weak personalities or fragile egos will respond to men who overcompensate more than women with stronger identities. As a man, it’s best to cater for the upper end of the market. So, when it comes to displaying confident body language, demonstrating that you’re a leader, showing that you’re experienced and doing all the other things you know in your gut men need to do to get the attention of women, do not overcompensate. Hit the middle ground.

There’s really no point describing how much we communicate with our bodies, completely separate from the things we say with our words. We all know about the messages with can and can’t send out depending on what we do with our physical selves. However, although the general subject of body language doesn’t require any special and in-depth explanation (we all know how important it is), a different, much more specific type of MALE body language does deserve a close and analytical look. It is the kind of body language a man must adopt if he wants to attract women and generally be seen as an attractive, dominant male.

If you don’t exhibit the right kind of body language, you are effectively destroying your chances of appearing attractive to the opposite sex to some degree or another. This is because women subconsciously pick up on the signals we men give them, in the form of our physical actions and behaviour. Some signals are positively accepted, while others are negatively accepted. Some are good, some are bad and lots are in between. You’ll have noticed that the title of this article is not “These are examples of the right body language…” it is “How to develop the right body language.” There’s a massive difference there. You see, it’s impossible to instantly adopt attractive body language. Even if you know every little move and action you should make to appear sexually attractive to women, the task of actually exhibiting them in a natural way ALL AT ONCE is an impossible one. This is because the human mind isn’t capable of concentrating on that many things at once. You can’t focus on maintaining the right posture, keeping your shoulders high, your feet pointing in the right direction, your facial expressions correct, etc. all at once. That’s because when we consciously think about things, we are using something called explicit memory. However, when you naturally exhibit sexually attractive body language, you are using implicit memory. So, when you see a guy walking in a very confident, self-assured attractive way, he is using implicit memory (he isn’t consciously thinking about it). When a guy is walking and thinking about every step he is taking, he is using explicit memory (he is totally aware of what he is thinking and therefore doing). That is why you cannot adopt attractive body language in half an hour or even in one day. So, how should it be done? You need to take a modular, systematic approach to developing sexually attractive body language—the kind of body language that will make a woman look at you and automatically think “That guy is very confident and self-assured. He looks like an experienced social leader.” Here is how to approach the task.

- You need to focus on one body part, or part of your body, at a time. This means that when you’re out in public with your friends or by yourself, whether you’re meeting new women or not, you need to focus on your feet ONLY, for example. Concentrate on what you’re doing with them and whether or not they are sending out a positive or a negative message to the women around you. Do you extend your legs when you sit down, to take up a little more space and therefore look more confident and dominant? Or do you keep them tucked under your chair, in a much more submissive way? Concentrate on how you use your feet, or whatever part of your body you’re focussing on first, and make a conscious effort to adjust the behaviour of this area several times, or dozens of times, a day.

- After you’ve concentrated on and improved your body language in one area of your body, move onto another. Your hands, for example, are a part of your body which will almost certainly need some work. Most men do things with their hands which make them look nervous or timid, like keeping them in their pockets, fiddling with small items or frequently using them to touch their faces in some way. Make sure none of these mistakes feature in your body language.

- Keep moving through the different areas and types of your body language. From your feet and legs, to your posture, to your arms and hands, to your head movements, to your facial expressions. Look at your walking style, the way you lean in and out, the speed with which you move, etc, etc.

- Apart from using your common sense to inform what you should and shouldn’t do with your body to appear attractive to women, you can look at the body language of other men to guide you. Don’t feel bad when you do this, all you’re doing is a little market research. Notice what they do with all of the aspects of their bodies just described and, one by one, adopt the positive things you notice so that they’re a part of your own body language.

We can’t hide our body language.

However hard we try, what we think is telegraphed to others through our body language.

This is especially true with women. Say something that offends them and they’ll cross their arms, even if they continue smiling… You’ll KNOW what they are REALLY thinking, because of their body language.

But, along with being able to read the negative female body language signals, you can read their positive ones.

Here are some of the big female body language signals to look out for:

1. Playing with her hair.

2. Exposing her wrists to you.

3. Pointing her feet in the direction she wants to go. If her feet are pointing towards you - great, she’s engaged and interested in you, if they are pointing at somebody or somewhere else, that’s who she wants/the direction she wants to go.

These are some of the biggest body language signals you can look out for in women… Look for them next time you chat with a woman and she seems engaged in the conversation.

I’ll post more on girls body language soon.