Black Belt Seduction Blog: How to pick-up, attract and seduce women

Before you make a move and transform a platonic relationship into a sexual relationship, you would typically want to make sure she is already sexually attracted to you. There’s no point rushing in now and risking your friendship and your chance to date a girl that you like if she’s not yet ready to make the transition.

To check if your friend is ready to become your girlfriend, watch out for these signs that she’s falling for you:

1.  She calls you and talks to you on the phone for hours. This says a lot about the level of comfort that you have achieved with each other. If she’s calling you more and more often and you find yourself chatting with her till the wee hours of the morning, you’ve got a real connection going on between the two of you. Definitely a good sign that she sees you as more than just a friend.

2.  She gets jealous when you talk about other girls or when she sees you approaching other girls. She won’t come right out and admit it. After all, she knows that she has no right to get jealous. But she will let you know how annoyed she is by ignoring you for a while or avoiding you when she sees you with another girl.

3.  She suddenly becomes very sensitive. Perhaps you are used to treating her like one of the boys and you like to tease her a lot. Suddenly, she becomes unusually sensitive to your comments and wonders if you are half serious when you tease her, especially if you tease her about her appearance.

4. She starts dressing up more femininely. If she begins to pay more attention to how she looks, she might be trying to remind you that she is a girl.

5.  She never misses a chance to spend time with you, especially if it’s just the two of you. If she’s almost always free to accompany you, if she changes her plans or moves her schedule around just to be able to hang out with you, that’s a definite sign she likes you.

6. She mentions you a lot to her friends. Girls cannot help but talk about a guy they like or quote them on something they said. So if you learn from her friends that she’s quoting you a lot or mentions your name a lot, that’s your green light to make your move.

7. She expects you to do things that boyfriends normally do, like bring her home or hanging out just the two of you. If you normally do these things for her, the tell tale sign to watch out for is how she will react if you miss any of these tasks. If she’s cool about it, then she’s a good friend. But if she suddenly turns ice cold, there’s definitely something going on.

8.  She tries to get good with your family. When girls like a guy, they want to impress not just the guy, but his family as well. She’ll be especially nice to his siblings or to his mom and act really warmly around his family to make sure they have a good opinion of her.

9.  She asks you to give a remark on her appearance or on how well she’s doing. When friends ask each other for an opinion, they really want to know your honest opinion. But when a girl likes a guy, she asks for an opinion and expects to get an affirmation. So when she starts phrasing her questions where you have no choice but to agree with her or to praise her, then that means your approval is becoming more and more valuable to her.

10.  She touches you more often. A good indication that a girl is falling for you is if she touches you more frequently or stands really close to you more often. If you notice this, then you should definitely ask her to be your girlfriend.

A lot of women believe in the idea of destiny - that if a man and a woman are meant for each other, the connection would be obvious from the first moment they meet, or at least soon after. This is why chemistry is an important sign that women look for when deciding whether a guy who approaches them is boyfriend material or not.

Supposing you’ve already approached a girl that you like and the girl is showing some positive signs that she might be interested in you, too. How do you make sure you create attraction between the two of you? Fortunately for us, there are several ways that we can help chemistry along. Here are some things you should do:

1.       Tease and flirt. Make sure you keep your interaction with a woman interesting by teasing her and flirting with her every time you get the chance. Being able to maintain a steady banter between the two of you is one sign women look for to check if chemistry exists.

2.       Gradually increase affectionate touching between the two of you. Make it clear to her that you are sexually attracted to her and that you are interested in moving things forward. Pace your progress depending on how fast or how slow she wants to go. How to know if you can make bolder moves? If she reciprocates by touching you back, that’s your cue to go for it.

3.       Kiss her at the first chance an opportunity to do so present itself. If she likes you back, missing the chance to kiss her may make her doubt your intentions — or worse, your compatibility. She will think of a million and one reasons why you’re holding back and hesitating to move things forward. Trust your instinct on this one. If the moment seems right for a kiss, grab it.

4.       Create a private joke that you can share. This is another thing you can do to increase the bond between the two of you. It’s also a good way to create a special connection that you can enjoy even when you are surrounded by other people or separated by miles.

5.       Give her a pet name. Again, another great way to increase the bond is to have a nickname or a pet name for each other. Nothing embarrassing, please. Make sure you choose a name that will flatter her or make her smile — not make her want to run away and hide. Using a pet name will also let other people know that you two have something special going on.

6.       Involve her in activities that you are good at. It’s important that you choose an activity that you’re good at because you want to create a feeling that you’re bringing her into your territory. Her vulnerability will then allow you to “protect” her and take the lead. Women like the feeling of being looked after, which they also attribute to your compatibility.

“What do women want?!”

Isn’t it funny how the only guys who ask that question are the ones who struggle to attract and date women? No, it’s not funny. That makes total sense, huh? Yeah. So, following on from that, the best way to work out what the female brain wants from the male brain must be to look at guys who don’t ask that question (because they’re too busy succeeding with women to wonder about it) and extract all of the good, useful stuff we can from what we notice. What traits and characteristics do these successful guys have that men who struggle with women lack? These…

A strong, impervious identity

Strong identities are attractive. If you go too far in one direction, you’re likely to narrow your target market (if you become a Hell’s Angel or something), but there’s no doubt about it: the most attractive men have very clearly defined, interesting identities. And those identities aren’t easily changed, adjusted or corrupted by other people. For example, if a guy acts in one way when he talks to a pretty woman but another when he talks to a little guy, then his identity is a little bit weak. He isn’t consistent.

You need to develop your identity and get used to displaying it in the things you say and do, not just when you’re around women, but ALL THE TIME.

Your identity is made up of:

- The things you love and hate
- Your approach to life
- The way you treat people
- Your ambitions and goals
- Your job and your opinion of it

Your identity needs to be strong in the sense that you know what it is and you are proud of it. You are never arrogant and you never spend time describing the kind of person you are—women can get that information just from looking and listening to you.

An independent mind

You’re standing in a group of people next to a girl you want to attract. This loud gorilla-like guy announces that women aren’t as good at driving as men. He does the buddy-buddy thing you with. “Right?! Am I right or what?! Huh?! My friend here agrees with me…right?! [Referring to you]” You don’t agree. So many men in this situation would say, “Well, erm, no comment!” or they’d play along and pretend to agree with him. Very few would casually and coolly say, “Nah, I think there are good drivers and bad drivers…that’s it. You’re a good driver though…you’re driving me up the wall.” Okay, maybe not the last part (there’s no point starting an argument). But you MUST stay true to the person you are. If a woman sees you bend to accommodate people, it’ll make it seem like their minds and identities outrank yours. They don’t.

Obviously you don’t want to go around disagreeing with people all the time. Just make sure you’re not fuzzy…sometimes you say what you think, other times you keep your mouth shut, other times you go along with what the most dominant person is saying—that’s not good enough. Be your own person. Which leads us to the next point…

An addictive persona and magnetic reality

We all have our own personas. We all have our own realities. What the hell does that mean though? A reality? My reality is my world. It’s what I do and think and say. It’s where I go. It’s everything to do with me. Everyone has their own reality. Your goal, if you want to become really attractive to women, is to have a reality and a persona which are ADDICTIVE. People get sucked into them because when they’re around you, they feel good. You’re funny, you help them socially prosper. You’re not socially selfish. You put the focus on other people so well that you end up becoming the most admired and attractive person in the group. You make your reality magnetic by making yourself the most laid-back, relaxed, independently-minded, funny, cool guy you can. And you be that way without ever wanting anything from anyone. Your reality isn’t maintained by the approval and attention of other people. If you attempt to drag a woman into your reality by flirting with her loads before she’s even had a chance to see what you’re about, she won’t be drawn into your reality, she’ll be pushed away from it. You want people to fall into your world because of the way you speak and the way you make people feel when you talk to them.

If all that sounds a bit crazy and airy-fairy, then you probably haven’t grasped how important it is to be the guy other men love hanging out with and women trust, admire and feel attracted to. If you do get it, then start developing that reality!

A collaborative sense of humor

Telling funny jokes isn’t attractive. Making people feel happy because you’ve made them laugh is attractive. It’s the result, not the process that matters. The content of a joke is irrelevant. You need to aim to develop a sense of humor which women can collaborate with. You don’t want to be ‘the funny one’. You want to be bouncing off each other. Jokes should be shared and developed as a team, not individually. When a guy has this skill, it’s THEN women say, “He’s so funny!” They don’t find guys with witty comments and clever jokes funny in the attractive sense unless they are ON BOARD and collaborating with the humor in some way, because that is what creates positive emotion in the woman and develops rapport between her and the guy.

By combining the above four traits or personal characteristics, you become the guy who doesn’t wonder what women want, because he doesn’t need to ask the question. He’s too busy being himself and interacting with women who love that self of his.