Understanding women and what they want from their ideal man
“What do women want?!”
Isn’t it funny how the only guys who ask that question are the ones who struggle to attract and date women? No, it’s not funny. That makes total sense, huh? Yeah. So, following on from that, the best way to work out what the female brain wants from the male brain must be to look at guys who don’t ask that question (because they’re too busy succeeding with women to wonder about it) and extract all of the good, useful stuff we can from what we notice. What traits and characteristics do these successful guys have that men who struggle with women lack? These…
A strong, impervious identity
Strong identities are attractive. If you go too far in one direction, you’re likely to narrow your target market (if you become a Hell’s Angel or something), but there’s no doubt about it: the most attractive men have very clearly defined, interesting identities. And those identities aren’t easily changed, adjusted or corrupted by other people. For example, if a guy acts in one way when he talks to a pretty woman but another when he talks to a little guy, then his identity is a little bit weak. He isn’t consistent.
You need to develop your identity and get used to displaying it in the things you say and do, not just when you’re around women, but ALL THE TIME.
Your identity is made up of:
- The things you love and hate
- Your approach to life
- The way you treat people
- Your ambitions and goals
- Your job and your opinion of it
Your identity needs to be strong in the sense that you know what it is and you are proud of it. You are never arrogant and you never spend time describing the kind of person you are—women can get that information just from looking and listening to you.
An independent mind
You’re standing in a group of people next to a girl you want to attract. This loud gorilla-like guy announces that women aren’t as good at driving as men. He does the buddy-buddy thing you with. “Right?! Am I right or what?! Huh?! My friend here agrees with me…right?! [Referring to you]” You don’t agree. So many men in this situation would say, “Well, erm, no comment!” or they’d play along and pretend to agree with him. Very few would casually and coolly say, “Nah, I think there are good drivers and bad drivers…that’s it. You’re a good driver though…you’re driving me up the wall.” Okay, maybe not the last part (there’s no point starting an argument). But you MUST stay true to the person you are. If a woman sees you bend to accommodate people, it’ll make it seem like their minds and identities outrank yours. They don’t.
Obviously you don’t want to go around disagreeing with people all the time. Just make sure you’re not fuzzy…sometimes you say what you think, other times you keep your mouth shut, other times you go along with what the most dominant person is saying—that’s not good enough. Be your own person. Which leads us to the next point…
An addictive persona and magnetic reality
We all have our own personas. We all have our own realities. What the hell does that mean though? A reality? My reality is my world. It’s what I do and think and say. It’s where I go. It’s everything to do with me. Everyone has their own reality. Your goal, if you want to become really attractive to women, is to have a reality and a persona which are ADDICTIVE. People get sucked into them because when they’re around you, they feel good. You’re funny, you help them socially prosper. You’re not socially selfish. You put the focus on other people so well that you end up becoming the most admired and attractive person in the group. You make your reality magnetic by making yourself the most laid-back, relaxed, independently-minded, funny, cool guy you can. And you be that way without ever wanting anything from anyone. Your reality isn’t maintained by the approval and attention of other people. If you attempt to drag a woman into your reality by flirting with her loads before she’s even had a chance to see what you’re about, she won’t be drawn into your reality, she’ll be pushed away from it. You want people to fall into your world because of the way you speak and the way you make people feel when you talk to them.
If all that sounds a bit crazy and airy-fairy, then you probably haven’t grasped how important it is to be the guy other men love hanging out with and women trust, admire and feel attracted to. If you do get it, then start developing that reality!
A collaborative sense of humor
Telling funny jokes isn’t attractive. Making people feel happy because you’ve made them laugh is attractive. It’s the result, not the process that matters. The content of a joke is irrelevant. You need to aim to develop a sense of humor which women can collaborate with. You don’t want to be ‘the funny one’. You want to be bouncing off each other. Jokes should be shared and developed as a team, not individually. When a guy has this skill, it’s THEN women say, “He’s so funny!” They don’t find guys with witty comments and clever jokes funny in the attractive sense unless they are ON BOARD and collaborating with the humor in some way, because that is what creates positive emotion in the woman and develops rapport between her and the guy.
By combining the above four traits or personal characteristics, you become the guy who doesn’t wonder what women want, because he doesn’t need to ask the question. He’s too busy being himself and interacting with women who love that self of his.
