Five Fantastic Places to Meet Girls

Posted on September 1, 2009 by Carl Cu

When you set off to meet girls, selecting the right location is important. This is because the location can either help you sell yourself or work against you. The primary consideration shouldn’t always be the number of women you can potentially meet, but rather, how you are likely to be perceived when you make your approach given the setting you are in.

Take for example clubs. While there will definitely be a lot of single ladies in clubs, you have to bear in mind that women are conditioned to think that men in clubs are the types who hit on women.

Before you make your approach, you have already been pre-judged as someone who’s only interested in picking up women. Before even uttering your first word, you already have a barrier that you need to overcome.  This is what makes meeting interesting women in clubs more difficult than it should be.

The best places to meet girls are generally places where women do not expect to be hit on. These are places where “sleazy men” do not hang out in. But they’re not so random that you’ll be perceived as a complete stranger. You want to have some way of relating to the girls you’re meeting, so the location you choose should provide you with a lot of options. There are plenty of possible settings. To narrow it down, here are some locations for you to consider:

1.    Weddings – Social gatherings, especially weddings are a great place to meet women. And it also makes it easier to start a conversation – just simply ask her how she is related to the wedding party!  Never underestimate the power of mutual acquaintances. They can give you an edge by helping you appear to be someone who is familiar, who is “safe” to date. And do not underestimate, too, the romantic halo cast by the general mood of a wedding.

 

2.    Company Symposiums, Trainings or Meetings – Before you do this, make sure that the girl you are approaching isn’t someone you work with closely. This is to avoid any complications if in case the relationship doesn’t work out. Work is a great way to meet women, because having a job generally makes you more attractive to women. The more prestigious your work, the more attractive you are. And within your professional circle, how well you are faring is generally well-known. Given this setting, it will be easier for you to establish your “alpha-ness” or your dominance when approaching women.  

 

3.    Hobby Clubs – When you have a common hobby or interest, it will be easier for you to strike up a conversation and to appear sincere – because you really enjoy what you’re doing. When you’re in a hobby club, the environment is less toxic and more relaxed because hobbies are activities you engage in at your leisure. This is a great place to meet like minded women who are open to meeting new people.

 

4.    Gym – The gym is a great place to socialize. In fact, having someone to talk to while exercising is a fun way to make time go faster and to keep yourself motivated in working out (Hint: Propose to become gym buddies and call each other up to help each other stay “compliant” to your fitness routine. This gives you a legitimate pretext to swapping numbers with her). We all know how flattery and giving compliments can soften people up and are actually great openers. The gym provides the perfect setting for using this approach. Next time you hit the gym, why not plant yourself on the treadmill beside a hot girl you dig?

5.    Schools, Campuses, Classes – These are not just places where serious studying happens, but are hotbeds for social interaction as well. So the next time you feel a little social drought when it comes to meeting girls, sign up for a class (acting class, dance class, pottery class, writing class) and meet new faces.

Just remember that when it comes to meeting women, there are many great places to meet girls and they’re usually in places where you might not expect to meet them. So keep your eyes peeled!

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Want Turn a Friend into Your Girlfriend? Here’s How You Can Tell If She Thinks You are Boyfriend Material

Posted on July 29, 2009 by Carl Cu

Before you make a move and transform a platonic relationship into a sexual relationship, you would typically want to make sure she is already sexually attracted to you. There’s no point rushing in now and risking your friendship and your chance to date a girl that you like if she’s not yet ready to make the transition.

To check if your friend is ready to become your girlfriend, watch out for these signs that she’s falling for you:

1.  She calls you and talks to you on the phone for hours. This says a lot about the level of comfort that you have achieved with each other. If she’s calling you more and more often and you find yourself chatting with her till the wee hours of the morning, you’ve got a real connection going on between the two of you. Definitely a good sign that she sees you as more than just a friend.

2.  She gets jealous when you talk about other girls or when she sees you approaching other girls. She won’t come right out and admit it. After all, she knows that she has no right to get jealous. But she will let you know how annoyed she is by ignoring you for a while or avoiding you when she sees you with another girl.

3.  She suddenly becomes very sensitive. Perhaps you are used to treating her like one of the boys and you like to tease her a lot. Suddenly, she becomes unusually sensitive to your comments and wonders if you are half serious when you tease her, especially if you tease her about her appearance.

4. She starts dressing up more femininely. If she begins to pay more attention to how she looks, she might be trying to remind you that she is a girl.

5.  She never misses a chance to spend time with you, especially if it’s just the two of you. If she’s almost always free to accompany you, if she changes her plans or moves her schedule around just to be able to hang out with you, that’s a definite sign she likes you.

6. She mentions you a lot to her friends. Girls cannot help but talk about a guy they like or quote them on something they said. So if you learn from her friends that she’s quoting you a lot or mentions your name a lot, that’s your green light to make your move.

7. She expects you to do things that boyfriends normally do, like bring her home or hanging out just the two of you. If you normally do these things for her, the tell tale sign to watch out for is how she will react if you miss any of these tasks. If she’s cool about it, then she’s a good friend. But if she suddenly turns ice cold, there’s definitely something going on.

8.  She tries to get good with your family. When girls like a guy, they want to impress not just the guy, but his family as well. She’ll be especially nice to his siblings or to his mom and act really warmly around his family to make sure they have a good opinion of her.

9.  She asks you to give a remark on her appearance or on how well she’s doing. When friends ask each other for an opinion, they really want to know your honest opinion. But when a girl likes a guy, she asks for an opinion and expects to get an affirmation. So when she starts phrasing her questions where you have no choice but to agree with her or to praise her, then that means your approval is becoming more and more valuable to her.

10.  She touches you more often. A good indication that a girl is falling for you is if she touches you more frequently or stands really close to you more often. If you notice this, then you should definitely ask her to be your girlfriend.

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How to Start an Interesting Conversation with a Woman – 7 Guidelines to Help You Create Your Original Conversation Starters

Posted on July 25, 2009 by Carl Cu

When you are hanging out with an attractive woman you know or perhaps you’ve just met, how do you select a topic to make sure you have a lively conversation with her? We already know what not to talk about (politics, religion, past relationships). But how do we decide what to talk about?

Here are some guidelines to help you choose and decide what topic to bring up, how to bring it up, and how to keep the conversation going.

1. Simple to answer.

When you introduce a topic, you should make it easy for her to respond to it. It shouldn’t have to require a lot of thought or a lot of expertise to be able to contribute to the conversation.

2. Interesting to think about.

The topic should be interesting to think about. True, you don’t want to require her to spend too much effort thinking and preparing an answer, but you do want something fun that people want to think about. Keep in mind that fun means different things to different people so make sure your brand of fun is compatible with hers so you don’t risk offending her.

3. Somewhat controversial.

There should be an element of controversy to your topic that will allow you to take contrary sides and have a fun, lively debate. It should be opinion-based, rather than fact-based. In fact, the more possible answers there are, the better.

4. Realistic.

Granted that it should be opinion-based, your new topic should carry some relevance to what you are currently doing or what you are currently discussing. You can’t just introduce a topic out of the blue. You want to integrate the new topic naturally into your conversation by using verbal bridges to make the transition.

5. Delivered as a short story.

Instead of asking a question straight away, it’s best if you could frame your question within the context of an interesting short story. It makes everyone more involved in the topic and more willing to contribute to it.

6. Insert what-if’s.

To keep the conversation going, introduce what-if’s and keep coming up with new scenarios. The new scenarios should challenge the position that the girl you’re talking to has taken. This is also a great way to flirt and tease with her.

7. Based on the level of rapport that you have established.

Generally, your choice of topic will depend on both of your backgrounds and your level of familiarity with each other. The more you know each other, the more topics you can explore and the livelier the conversation tends to be. When you’ve established a certain rapport with her, you will be able to comfortably share your opinions and experiences and this is the key ingredient of a lively conversation.

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Flirting Signals Women Use to Let You Know She Likes You – 7 Signs to Help You Successfully Meet Women

Posted on July 21, 2009 by Carl Cu

When a woman meets someone she likes, her body sends out signals to let the other person know that she likes him. This is all done without her conscious knowledge. And because it’s unconscious, it’s very, very hard to manipulate body language to mask what she is truly feeling. She may tell you one thing, but if her body language signals otherwise, you’ll know which is which.

In order to be successful at meeting and dating women, you need to be perceptive of the signals that she will give out. To find out if she finds you sexually attractive, here’s a list of common flirting signals women use.

1.       She smiles shyly and looks coyly at you. When a woman first sees you and she finds you interesting, she will smile and look at you a certain way. Once she gets your attention, she will slowly lower her gaze and look away. This is her way of inviting you to approach her and start a conversation

2.       She shows you more of her skin. When a woman is attracted to you, she will seek to attract you by showing a bit more skin. For example, she’ll tilt her head to one side to show you her neck.  She’ll touch her bare shoulders. If she’s sitting down, she may move her hands on her hips or on her legs. The movement of her arms seeks to draw your attention to her bare skin.

3.       She nods in agreement often and listens intently. When you are talking to a woman who finds you sexually attractive, she’s going to want to flatter you by giving you her complete attention. She establishes eye contact, tilts her head to one side and will nod in agreement often. She will also smile a lot, even if you’re not saying anything particularly amusing. She will also try to end your sentences for you or rephrase your statements.

4.       She moves into your personal space. A woman who finds you sexually attractive will not be afraid to walk into your personal space. By moving into your personal space, she’s giving you permission to be a bit more physical with her.

5.       She touches you. This is one of the more aggressive flirting signals that a woman is attracted to you. How do you distinguish flirting from friendly touch? If the touch seems to linger longer, and if it happens in increasing frequency, she’s flirting with you.

6.       She draws attention to her lips. A woman who is attracted to you will unconsciously try to draw your attention to her lips. She does this by touching her lips, pouting or playing with her straw.

7. She removes physical barriers to get close to you. A woman who is attracted to you will actively try to make herself more inviting to approach. She’ll make sure she doesn’t cross her arms and she adopts an open posture. She might move away from her group so you can approach her. Or she might subtly parade herself around you, to make sure you notice her.

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How to Defeat Your Fear of Approaching Women – The 7-Day Crash Course to Becoming a Confident Dater

Posted on July 16, 2009 by Carl Cu

The fear of approaching women is an affliction that all men suffer. Show me a man who feels no apprehension at the thought of approaching an attractive woman and I’ll show you the descendants of a long extinct caveman.

While all men struggle with this fear, not all men are successful at overcoming it.  If you are one of these men and you are sick of going home alone when everybody else has got a hot date to the after party, here’s the 7-day crash course to help you overcome your fear of approaching women and become a confident dater.

Day 1: Reflect and conquer

First thing you have to do is to identify the root of your fear. Are you afraid of rejection, getting laughed at, making a mistake, stuttering? List absolutely everything down. Sometimes, just verbalizing our fears is enough to release the stress and become more relaxed when meeting women.

Once you’ve listed down your fears, opposite them list down ways you can defeat that fear. Some questions to think about: What’s the likelihood of them taking place? If it does take place, what’s the worse that can happen? How can you rebound? Is there long term damage?

Now that you have your list, internalize it on the first day. Review it every day until you feel that you’re much more confident.

Day 2: Go on a makeover

A lot of our hang ups about ourselves stem from our insecurities on the way we look. We may think that we are too fat, too scrawny, too ugly, too geeky, too uninteresting, etc. Let us address these concerns to boost our confidence.

Admittedly, some of them require long term solutions like diet and exercise. On the short term, you can make yourself look better by improving your hair and your clothes. Your look and your confidence can definitely benefit from some quick and easy changes to your appearance. Devote day 2 to creating your new and improved look.

Day 3: Conditioning Exercise: Flash a Smile

The next thing you do is slowly condition yourself to get used to interacting with women you don’t know. What you do is choose a place where there are a lot of women – like in a park or in a supermarket. Whenever you see a woman, I want you to smile. Flash a genuine, friendly smile and see women smile back at you. You may choose women who do not scare you – non threatening women – to get you used to smiling at women.

Day 4: Conditioning Exercise: Smile at Attractive Women

Now that you’re pretty used to smiling at women who do not intimidate you, you can start smiling at women whom you find attractive. Once again, choose a venue where there are lots of women. And then initially, alternate smiling at non threatening women and attractive women. Do this until you are able to smile at attractive women easily.

Day 5: Conditioning Exercise: Chat

Next step is to become comfortable chatting to women. Again, choose a venue where there are lots of women and do this only with women whom you are not sexually attracted to. Smile, walk up to them and chat with them. You can do this by asking them a question or giving a general comment. The objective of this exercise is to get you used to smiling, approaching and starting a conversation with strangers who happen to be women.

Day 6: Conditioning Exercise: Chat with Attractive Women

Day 6 is a repeat of yesterday’s exercise, only this time instead of non-threatening women, you’re going to approach attractive women. You may start by alternating non-threatening and attractive women until you can chat exclusively with attractive women. Progress by having longer and longer chats as you move along your targets.

Day 7: Social Venues

By now, you’ve smiled and talked to probably a hundred women and tens of attractive women. You are used to approaching women you don’t know and striking a conversation with them. You’re now ready to test your new skills at a more social venue like a party or a club. Remember, you can warm up with women you aren’t attracted to and then afterwards approach the women you want to attract.

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8 Reasons Why Average Guys Want to Date Beautiful Girls But End Up Dating Average Girls

Posted on July 13, 2009 by Carl Cu

It’s no secret that men fantasize about dating very sexy women. If you go to any bachelor’s room, the evidence is overwhelming. Desktop background, screen savers, video downloads, the music he listens to, the movie he watches – evidence of is obsession with gorgeous women is everywhere. And yet, if we were to describe the ratio of men who are obsessed with gorgeous women to men who actually date them, it would be a grossly inverse relationship – and this is not due to a lack of pretty women.

It’s practically a fact: average guys don’t end up dating girls who they consider way too beautiful. Guys rate women and for a majority of men, women who are 9s and 10s are too out of their league to even try for. Average guys “settle” for average girls. To understand why, here are 8 reasons why men tend to avoid dating women who are very attractive:

1.       Fear of rejection. Girls who are very attractive are thought to be hunk magnets. Since they’re approached so often by so many guys, it’s much easier for them to reject guys. Hence, it’s the chances of a guy getting rejected within seconds of approaching a girl is doubled, even tripled when the girl is super attractive.

2.       Fear of being exposed. Since the very pretty girls are approached so often by men who want to date them, they become quite familiar with the various styles and techniques that men use to attract women. This familiarity means she’s probably familiar with the moves an average guy might spring on her, rendering his chances of success close to nil.

3.       Excessive shyness. Some men are just shy around women. And the prettier the women, or the more of them there are to interact with, the more his shyness intensifies.

4.       Low self esteem. Like attracts like. Following this logic, very pretty women deserve and probably expect to be with a very hunky guy. Average guys view themselves as average, which means not good looking enough, not rich enough, not tall enough, not good enough for a super attractive female.

5.       Procrastination. The odds of an average guy dating a foxy lady seem like an overwhelming 10 million to 1. With odds like that, why even bother trying?

6.       Clueless on what to do and say. Very pretty ladies also appear to be very sophisticated and adept at playing the seduction game. What can you say or do to impress someone who probably has seen and heard every tactic known to man?

7.       Performance anxiety. Well, these average guys are not used to talking to hot, sexy ladies. This makes them anxious when interacting with them.

8.       Fear of embarrassment. Nobody wants to make a fool of themselves, especially so in front of someone they find very attractive. Sometimes, the threat of embarrassment is so real that it cowers men from considering other, more likely possibilities.


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